What Happily Ever After?
by Plunk626
Summary: Buffy and Spike are sent to a distorted fairytale world by a sorceress where they portray the roles of the main characters. There's fighting, tons of humor, and more than one classic fairytale.
1. What Did You Do!

**The Story:** This is somewhere in season five, although there will be no Dawn of any kind because I don't like her. Buffy's out patrolling when she stumbles across Spike. A sorceress comes into town and does some voodoo on Buffy and accidentally gets Spike (who loves Buffy but she doesn't know) caught in it too. They're put into fairytale stories that have been tweeked, and not in a good way. They have to come together and figure a way out of the fairy tale dimension and get back home.

Chapter One

A dark figure strode to the edge of the hill over looking Sunnydale. Their stature was one of dominance and their pace was steady. Their dark eyes surveyed the territory below their feet. It was big and held promise. Their pale lips smiled, baring white teeth.

From behind them someone came trotting up, breathing heavily. "Why did we have to walk Iniquity?"

The dark figure shot him a deadly glance at the sound of her name. "Be quiet Pernicus."

"I'm just asking, why walk when you're all powerful? You could've just transported us here." Pernicus stretched out his arms as if it would actually stop the pain.

"Such foolish use of magic is what lost you your powers in the first place."

"I happen to think making a horde of flying monkeys is a great idea. The Wizard of Oz thought so. My creations made it into a four star movie."

"Only _your_ monkeys were wrecking havoc and destruction on all the sorcerers in Nefarious," Iniquity shot back. Her black cape was soaring to the tempo of the steady wind.

"That was just a tiny technicality."

"Tiny? They disrupted Merlin's hurricane spell and sent a giant twister through the square."

"Yeah well…where are we?" Pernicus quickly changed subjects, lacking a good response.

Iniquity looked down at the town. "Sunnydale."

"Sunnydale? What kind of name is that?"

"I do not select towns based on their names Pernicus." She gently removed her hood from over her head and shook her wavy, light brown hair free from the cape. "I think this town is perfect. I hear it possesses a Slayer."

"A Slayer," Pernicus said with a deviant tone and a smile on his face. Then he turned to Iniquity and asked, "What's a Slayer?"

Iniquity raised her right hand to her temple in frustration. "Pernicus, your idiocy is appallingly immense."

"Sorry?" Pernicus said, unsure of what she said. "What's so appealing about a Slayer?"

"She'll be enjoyable to play with. I think we should pay her a visit."

"Can we not walk down there though?"

Iniquity turned to Pernicus. "Don't worry Pernicus, you won't have to walk." She strolled over to him and walked him to the edge. "It's a hill after all." She pushed him forward and he tumbled down, calling out in pain on the way.

Buffy was walking through the graveyard, as per usual, with a stake in hand. She just fought a newly risen vamp that was in a black suit. He got a couple good punches to her face but nothing ultra damaging. Now she was doing one more sweep over its perimeter before heading home. Buffy paused when she heard some bushes rustling. Her fingers held the stake tighter as she quietly stepped to the corner of the tomb. She jumped to the other side and was knocked over by a vampire. He turned to dust once she was leveled to the ground.

"Oh, Slayer. Didn't see ya there," Spike stated. "It was real nice of you to block the vamps landing."

Buffy sneered at his remark and pushed herself off the grass. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Not that it's any of your business but I happen to live here."

"Why're you here? Patrolling."

"I wasn't patrollin'. He was in between the pathway to my crypt and where I was comin' from," Spike defended. Not that he needed to. He had nothing to prove to her; the beautiful slenderness that was her.

"And where was that?"

"Didn't know we were playin' twenty questions Slayer."

"Just stay out of my way Spike." Buffy walked past him without a second glance. She pushed forward, keeping her eyes and ears open. She heard Spike running up from behind her.

"Ya know, you can be real ungrateful sometimes."

"I'm supposed to thank you for throwing a vampire on top of me and knocking me down?" Buffy never gave him eye contact.

"I did slay him though. That's one less for you to fight. You could be a little bit more appreciative."

Buffy stopped and faced him. "You're right. Thank you Spike."

"You're welcome."

"Thank you for knocking me flat on my ass and probably getting a grass stain on my white jacket." She gave him a huge, fake smile and turned away. _What is up with him? He's been acting majorly weird lately. Maybe he-_ Buffy paused her thoughts and steps when she heard someone calling out in pain. Buffy ran at full speed in the direction of the cries. Spike ran after her, hearing the screams as well.

"You would presume gravity would be faster than that," Iniquity said when Pernicus stumbled to her feet.

"Well it's slower when your body has to face obstacles like big rocks." Pernicus remained slumped on the ground, holding on to his ribs. "Good thing I'm an ex-Wizard or you'd have some body parts to clean up."

"I would not waste my valuable time cleaning up your entrails. I would rather test out this Slayer. Now pick up your broken leg so I can find a locality to perform my spell."

"Is there any chance you could repair that some time… well, soon?" Iniquity opened her fist and a stream of purple magic came out and swarmed Pernicus's detached limb. It fastened it quickly and then the magic evaporated. He shook it, just to make sure. He looked forward and noticed she was a fair distance from him. Pernicus swiftly rose and ran after her. "What spell are you going to use? A confusion spell? An eternal darkness spell? Oh, no, wait, an envisioning spell."

Iniquity laughed. "I have something better planned."

Buffy made it through the wooded clearing and stopped to listen. There were no more screams. Suddenly, Buffy was knocked over by Spike as he ran out of the woods. Buffy turned on to all fours. "Spike!" She stood up and brushed herself off. "I told you to stay out of my way! That's not code for follow me and knock me over! Again!"

Spike grunted and stood up from the ground. "It's not like I did it on purpose, all right?"

"No, not all right. You're still here!" Buffy walked off towards one of the main streets.

Spike gritted his teeth and continued pursuing her. "Don't think that me followin' ya means anythin'. I just need to head to the butcher to get me some more pig's blood."

"Can you say over share?" Buffy walked down the road, extremely worn out. _Why can't I just be home and asleep right now? That's all I want. I don't think that's too much. There are people who ask for ponies and a million dollars. All I want is to get a visit from Mr. Sandman. Well, not a literal one because with my luck he'll be evil and I'll have to fight even more._

Iniquity settled on the roof of a crypt in a nearby graveyard. "We're doing it here?" Pernicus asked.

"Yes, now hold your tongue." Iniquity took a deep breath and focused her energy. She took a deep breath before chanting, "Per confondere il suo di essere inviarla alla terra di favole di fata alterate." She slowly opened her eyes.

"Nothing happened."

"Not in our eyes."

"But I mean, there wasn't a swoosh of light or dark clouds rolling in with thunder booming."

"Being an ex-wizard you should know that not all spells exhibit indications of casting." Iniquity held out her left palm and circled her right hand above it. A crystal ball appeared; its core completely black. "Show her to me." The ball glowed and flashed to Buffy in a setting completely different from that of Sunnydale. "It worked."

Buffy looked around the new surrounding in confusion. She was standing in a stone walled castle with an excessive chandelier above her head. "What is this place?" She looked down and noticed she was wearing an ivory, spaghetti strap dress with vine and flower trim in green and yellow along the breast and bottom. The bodice clung to her upper body and the bottom formed a two inch radius around her legs. "I look like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man." She lifted her skirt and noticed she was wearing glass high heels. "Wait a minute. Glass slippers?" She walked out of the room, watching her perimeter. She entered an extravagant ballroom filled with dancing men in women in almost the same type of apparel. Her eye was caught by the bleached blonde haired man in the front of the ballroom. There was a considerably big line of women in front of him. Buffy lifted the bottom of her dress and hurried over to Spike.

"Hey!" all the women yelled. "We've been waiting to see the Prince too. Get in line and wait your turn!"

"Do you want me to rearrange your face?" Buffy offered the plump woman in the front.

"It's all right," Spike called out to everyone. "Please excuse me."

"Son," the man on his right said.

"Giles?" Buffy asked.

"Excuse me madam, but you must wait your turn-"

"Uh, Dad, I'll be back." Spike took Buffy's hand and ran behind a curtain. "All ready tried that. It's not him. Well, it is, but it isn't."

"What did you do!"

"What!"

"Why am I dressed in this ridiculous outfit and why am I in a castle where you're the Prince?"

"I don't know."

"Well you must've done something," Buffy pursued.

"Why me?"

"Statistical probability."

"Hold on a minute Slayer. If we're goin' on track records then I'd say your friend Red is the one who gets the blame," Spike alluded.

Buffy put her hands on her head. "What is going on? This place is so weird yet so familiar." Buffy observed it more. "Do you recognize this place?" Spike looked at her like she just asked him what 256 x 389 is. Buffy faced him and notice the look she received. "You don't see anything familiar?"

"Actually, yes, it's all coming back to me. I'm bloody Prince Charming in the world of bloody poofs."

It clicked. _Prince Charming. Glass slippers._ "Spike, we're in a fairy tale."

Spike smiled. "Didn't think you'd ever refer to bein' with me as a fairy tale. Gotta say, I'm flattered Slayer."

"Not with you moron. I mean this place. You're Prince Charming and I'm Cinderella."

"Not followin' love."

"We're in the story _Cinderella_. I got the glass slippers and you have the ball to find your true love. Well, at least someone to be with."

"So how do we get out of this fairy tale."

"That in lies the problem." Spike rolled his eyes, in no way prepared for this or being with Buffy and hiding his true feelings for her.

**Author's Note:** Dun dun dun :scary noises:. Well, I hope you like it so far. There's more Spuffy, more funny and more fairy tales to go through. If you will kindly press the review button and leave me some notes, it will be well appreciated. My little Review Elves love to read what people have to say. Oh, the math answer was 99584 by the way (in case you were wondering, which you probably weren't).


	2. This is Hell

Chapter Two 

"Buffy?" Xander yelled into the house as he held open the door. "Hey Buff, ya here?" He walked in seeing no sign of attack and no sign of Buffy. He ran up the stairs to Willow and Tara's room. "Will?" She wasn't there either. "Okay, was there a scheduled multiple kidnapping that I was late for?" He heard the bathroom door open and he dashed to the hallway. "Willow."

Willow jumped in surprise. "Xander. What're you doing here?"

"Looking for Buffy."

"That seems to be the consensus."

"Consensus? I'm gonna go out on a used too often limb here and say that's not of the good." Xander started panicking on the inside.

"She never came home from patrolling last night."

"Buffy's missing and you're in a bathroom?"

"I had to use it." Xander kept his stare on her. "Okay mister. You try drinking two coffees in an hour and a half and see how demanding _your_ bladder is," Willow defended.

"Sorry Will. It's just… no Slayer equals bad. And this wouldn't be the first time she skipped out on us," Xander reminded her.

"Why would Buffy leave?" she asked, wondering if he knew something that she didn't.

"I don't know. Why did she leave the first time?" Xander asked, making it sound like there was no reason at all.

"Because she ran her first true love through with a sword to save the world and she needed some time to herself."

Xander sighed. "Will, I'm trying to make a bad point here to cope."

"Sorry. Just think positively. Buffy probably just fell asleep somewhere."

"Like in a hospital bed with an IV and heart monitor as accessories."

"Negative," Willow warned.

Xander spun in a couple worried circles before he asked, "Does Giles know?"

"Yeah. He went to Spike's to see if he knows where Buffy is. And Tara's looking around town." Willow was fiddling her fingers and watched them move in random spots. She drew her attention away from her nervousness and asked, "What about Anya? Shouldn't she be helping?"

"You be the one to tell her she can't make money today." Xander knew how much Anya loved the idea of money and getting her away from it was a hassle he didn't want to deal with.

"You're the boyfriend."

"You're… the friend."

"In what Medagork universe?" Xander looked at her with obvious confusion. "It's a demon universe," Willow explained.

Xander nodded. "Yes of coarse. Remember the days when we had no idea about demons and specific names of their dimensions?" Xander thought quickly and rephrased it, "Well, you knowing specific dimensions."

"Barely," Willow answered with a side smirk.

"Willow!" Giles called from downstairs.

"Giles?" Willow descended the stairs. Xander followed right behind her. "Did Spike know anything?"

"Spike was not there."

"Spike's missing too!"

"Oh no, now there won't be anyone to distract us with their complaining. Everyone grab a Kleenex," Xander sarcastically stated.

The door opened and Tara came in swiftly. "Tara," Willow greeted. She hustled to her girlfriend.

"I couldn't find her." Tara took Willow's hands and held them tightly. "I checked the coffee shop, the hospital, the library. Nothing."

"The library? You know we're looking for Buffy right?" Xander cleared.

"Where else can she be?" Willow asked with whimper.

"This is Hell," Buffy said, her head in her lap. She was sitting on the cold floor with her back against a pillar.

Spike was leaning against one across from her. "I haven't been there in a couple decades but I know it's not this bloody awful."

"How are we gonna get out of here?" she almost yelled.

"Well, maybe we should do as the fairy tale does. Ya said we dance, ya lose a shoe, I put it on ya and we get married."

"I am _not_ marrying you."

"Ya got a better idea?"

"Gouging my eyes out with a fork or careening over a cliff in a burning car are a lot better."

"There aren't any forks," Spike said with a smirk.

Buffy looked at him, her anger clearly displayed. "Are you enjoying this?"

"Quite a lot actually."

Buffy pushed herself off the floor and walked towards Spike. "You're going to be stuck here too ya know."

"Yes, but I'm a prince in a fancy palace. You're some servant girl in your own household."

"I love your sensitivity Spike. It's very… non-existent. Thank you." She folded her arms and looked away. He seemed right though. Maybe the only way out of this was to take his idea of 'do as the fairy tale does.' She turned back to him and he quickly looked away so she wouldn't notice he was checking her out. "All right. Let's act out this little fairy tale. But no touching."

"Then how are we supposed to dance?" His voice was very seductive and persistent. It sent a chill up Buffy's spine. Buffy bit her bottom lip and consented to the dancing. They started to spin and sway across the dance floor behind the curtain.

A guy who looked like Andrew peered in on them and smiled a big smile. He ran back over to the king, who looked like Giles. "Your majesty. The prince is dancing with a young lady."

"He is!" Giles said in excitement. He quickly walked over to the curtain and snuck a peek. His son was smiling and the girl seemed fairly interested as well. He was holding her rather close so that had to be a good sign. Giles turned to Andrew. "This is perfect. I want you to keep an eye on them and don't allow anyone to disturb them. Do you understand?"

"Yes sire." Andrew bowed as Giles retired to his room.

Buffy stopped, making Spike stop. "What?"

"We need to find a clock."

"A clock?"

"Yes. Remember, I told you that at midnight I turn back into my normal self."

"What's the normal self? It involve a dominatrix outfit?" Spike smiled at her with dirty thoughts running through his mind.

"No! I just have raggedy clothing." Buffy kept walking, trying to find a clock. She walked over to a water fountain and revolved around, hopefully finding a clock. "Where is it? In the Disney movie it's right across the way from a fountain." She hustled over to the railing and followed it until she came to the sight of a big clock. "Finally."

"What time is it?"

"Almost midnight." She turned back to Spike and said, "All right. When it starts going off I'm going to run out of here, leave a shoe behind and go home. In the morning you go searching for the girl who left the glass slipper and you find me. Oh, but I'll be locked away."

"Then how do I know if I got the right house?"

"It's on old castle kind of thing. There'll be an evil looking women and her two ugly daughters." The clock started to ring. "That's my que. Now follow me out and grab my slipper."

"Got it." Buffy grabbed the bottom of her dress and ran as fast as she could. Spike ran after her.

"Oh no," Andrew said. He paced in panic, his thoughts changing rapidly from alarming the guards to running to the king. "Uh, guards! Guards!" A group of people in armor stampeded into the ballroom. "Follow that girl!" They looked up the stairs and did as they were told.

Buffy ran down the front steps and both shoes remained on. "What the heck!" She tried holding her dress and taking off the shoe.

"What in bleedin' Hell ya doin'?" Spike asked, making down to her.

"The stupid shoe didn't come off! I can't reach it, this dress is too poofy!"

"Well let me just-" Spike got on one knee and tried to get it.

Buffy stepped away. "No, I can-"

"Would ya just let me-"

"I can get-"

"I can reach it if you just-" Spike tried getting the shoe and Buffy kept pulling away.

"Stop looking up my dress!" Buffy yelled.

"I am not looking up your dress!"

"Yes you did I just saw you!" Buffy's eye was caught by the shining armor that was at the top of the many steps. "Crap! Take the shoe!"

"I thought I couldn't touch the shoe!"

"Take the stupid shoe!"

Spike removed the shoe and Buffy ran. "Wait!" Spike called after her, pretending he didn't do it on purpose.

Buffy looked around and didn't see a coach. "Wha- where?" She looked back and the knights continued the pursuit. Buffy darted into a wooded area and hid behind a bush. She watched as they ran right passed her. Her dress turned into rags but the glass slipper remained on her foot. "Okay, now where's my house?"

"Iniquity, I gotta say that this spell is mediocre. She's in a fairy tale world. So what?" Pernicus stated. He was tossing picked pieces of grass one by one in the air. "I expected better."

"Pernicus, you have yet to see the best part. We'll just help the Slayer find her home and then the real fun begins." Iniquity watched her crystal ball with a smile.

Buffy staggered out of the woods and continued down the path. She looked at the houses as she past by. It was extremely weird to be in such a simple place that's so different from your own. "Civilization has definitely taken a couple staircases up from this."

Suddenly, a boy came running up to her. He was dressed in tattered pants and a torn up shirt. "Cinderella, we must get you home. Your stepmother and stepsisters will be there any minute."

"You know where I live?"

"Yes, of coarse. Come with me." He took Buffy's hand and ran in the direction of her house.

After miles of running and many twits and turns she made it to her house. "Hurry inside."

Buffy headed in but quickly rotated around. "Thank-" The boy was gone. "you." She turned and ran into the house. She was in the kitchen, she assumed, with a fireplace to the right, an empty wooden table in the middle and a basket of clothes in the corner. "Let's do the time warp."

"Cinderella!" a woman yelled.

"And now I get to meet the evil step bitches." Buffy sighed and went down the hall hopefully turning down the right openings.

"Cinderella!" the woman yelled again.

"Where are you?" Buffy shouted.

"By the front door you stupid girl!"

"Where is the front door?" she asked herself. She walked through more hallways and saw the three women standing by the door. "Yes?"

"Take our coats off you insolent girl!"

Buffy gritted her teeth and removed the black coats from the three of them. Her stepsisters had brown and blonde hair. They were actually very pretty compared to the ones in the Disney movie. They had nice eyes, shapely brows, and small figures. And they all had very white complexions. They noticed Buffy staring at them and gave her puzzling looks.

"Cinderella, what're you doing?" the stepmother questioned.

"Sorry," Buffy said, snapping out of her daze. "Uh, how was the ball?"

"The prince dance with me all night," one of the sisters said.

"No he didn't," the other objected. "He danced with _me_, _and_ he said I was the prettiest girl there."

"That's a lie and you know it Gabrielle."

"You weren't with us Dana."

"Girls," their mother interrupted. "Stop arguing. I know it's easy to become frustrated on an empty stomach. We haven't eaten anything since before the ball. Cinderella, bring us some food. Now."

"Yes stepmother." Buffy took the coats with her to the kitchen, which she thankfully found without a problem. "Okay." Buffy looked around and noticed there was no refrigerator. "What do they eat?" She looked outside and noticed the barn. "I guess they're having eggs tonight." She went by the chickens and grabbed three eggs. She boiled some water in a cast iron pot and cooked the eggs as best she could. She dried off the eggs and took them to the front door. "Crap, where'd they go?"

"Cinderella! We don't have all night!" She went upstairs in the direction of the scream. "Sorry. I'm having a little trouble keeping the rooms straight today. She put an egg in front of each of them.

Dana laughed. "Are you kidding?"

"Yeah Cinderrags don't you know what food is? I mean, I know you're dumb and all but you've never done something _this_ stupid."

"Is this a joke?" her stepmother asked.

"Well there was nothing else to eat?"

"What do you mean there was nothing else to eat? I bought five slaves just the other day!"

"Slaves?" Buffy repeated.

"Yes! What is the matter with you, you stupid, stupid girl! Now bring me my food!" Her stepmother's face became bumpy, her eyes were a sharp yellow, and fangs stood out among her gritted teeth. "Or we'll eat you instead!"

Buffy's eyes widened in shock.

**Author's Note:** I hope you liked the very long chapter. Oh, and the review elves say thank you, as do I, and hope you keep up the good work of sending in reviews. They'd rather have something to do than sit around the office all day.


	3. Time to Change Things Up

Chapter Three 

Buffy made it into the kitchen. "What kind of messed up fairy tale is this? I so don't remember vampires in Cinderella." Buffy started pacing, trying to separate her thoughts and evaluate what she was going to do. "Okay, assess the situation. I'm in a fairy tale world and I have no idea how to get out of it. The evil step witches are vampires who are looking for a human dinner. Spike's a prince in a _stupid_ palace, who's probably drinking the night away and flirting with a bunch of girls. Meanwhile I'm trapped at the House on Haunted Hill." Buffy paused and looked out the door. She ran out and to the barn. "This is the only place they would hide slaves," she said to herself. She kept her eyes open and walked carefully toward the end. She made it to a cage, which held two men, one woman, and a child.

"Oh no!" the woman said. She grabbed the little girl in front of her and pulled her to the wall. The two men stood in front of them.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you." Buffy looked around frantically for a hook holding the keys. She turned back to the people and asked, "Where are the keys?"

"How should we know?" the man with black hair asked. "You take them with you."

"Great." She took a look at the cage. It was quite sturdy for any normal human being to try and get out of but with her Slayer strength Buffy would be able to kick it in. "Stand to the side." They did as they were told before Buffy kicked in the door with her right leg.

"How did you-" one of the men started to ask.

"Not now. Just run as far away from here as you can." They stood there, waiting for the catch. "Run!" Buffy yelled. The guy with black hair picked up the little girl and ran out. The other man took the woman's hand and followed.

As they ran across the field, Gabrielle came to the kitchen door. "What are you still doing in the barn Cinder-" Her eyes were caught by the four people running from the house. "Mother!" She turned and ran inside. "Mother! She let our food go!"

Buffy went into the kitchen and kicked Gabrielle in the back. "See _this_ problem, I can handle. I'm somewhat of an expert."

Gabrielle turned to her. "You're gonna get it." Her face transformed into vamp mode and she growled.

"Now is that how a proper young lady should behave?" Gabrielle ran towards her, obviously expecting an easy catch. Buffy jump kicked her in the face and elbowed her in the back. Gabrielle ran at her again and Buffy slammed her down on the wooden table. It broke under the impact, creating a nice handful of stakes. Buffy grabbed one of the broken legs and rammed it into her chest.

Dana and her stepmother arrived in the doorway and noticed Gabrielle was gone. "Where is my daughter?"

Buffy stood up in Gabrielle's fresh ashes. "I'm standing on her." They looked down, putting two and two together.

"You ungrateful little brat!"

"Ungrateful? You make me do all your chores when this is _my_ house and you think I should be grateful?"

"We had a promise," Dana interrupted. "We don't eat you, you do all the work."

"And feed you live people!" Buffy yelled.

"Enough!" her stepmother interjected. "Now we will eat you."

"Go ahead and try. It'll be funny," Buffy suggested with a smile.

Dana and her mother growled, baring their fangs. They were about to move in for a bite when someone yelled, "Buffy!"

Buffy's eyes wandered, wondering where the sound came from. "Spike?"

"Buffy!"

"Spike!" Buffy yelled back. Dana took this diversion as a chance to attack. She lunged at Buffy but she just used Dana's forward momentum to shove her into the stone wall.

Spike ran into the kitchen not completely shocked by the sight. "We got a problem."

"Yeah, I caught that."

"Buffy behind you!" Spike warned. Buffy turned around and was greeted with a punch to the face.

"How do you know Cinderella?" the stepmother asked.

"We have a history." With that, Spike landed a right hook on her left cheek. She was stunned for a second but quickly tried to take action. She resorted to a backhand punch but Spike blocked it and snap kicked her stomach.

Buffy elbowed Dana in the abdomen, spun behind her and then kneed her in the back. Buffy grabbed a broken piece of wood and ran it through, piercing her heart. "What's your problem?"

Spike kicked out the stepmother's feet and rammed a stake into her heart. "My problem is there's a horde of angry women at the ball that became vampires."

"Giles," Buffy said in worry.

Spike gripped Buffy's upper arms with his hands and reminded her, "It's not him."

"Right. So, let's go fight your problem."

"Buffy if there's one there's gotta be three hundred."

"Not likin' those odds." Buffy tried to think of something. She was starting to get a headache that felt like someone was pounding on her head with a mallet. She would know what that felt like. "Is this why no one else likes to do the planning? All the head hurting and complicatedness. I'm the brawn, I'm not the brain."

"Right about that," Spike said.

"Let's see _you_ think of an idea," Buffy replied with an attitude.

"I already did. My idea was to get the Hell out of there and find you."

"Running away doesn't count as an idea!"

"Why not? You think of ideas and that's what I thought."

"Yeah well you think of lots of things but that doesn't make them ideas."

"Technically it does, love."

"Do not call me that and no it doesn't." Buffy walked outside in hopes of clearing her mind. She needed to come up with an idea and so far she had… nothing. There was no spark of a thought or even an inkling. _Where's Willow when you really really need her?_

"Uh, Buffy," Spike said with a hint of distress and awe.

"Not now Spike," Buffy insisted. She kept her eyes on the horizon. _Maybe if the sun would just come up things would be better._

"Buffy," he said with more urgency.

"What part of not now-" Buffy turned to Spike and stopped mid sentence when she saw the oncoming stampede of vampires. "Oh crap!" Buffy turned and ran. Spike paused a moment, unsure of what happened, but he quickly joined in.

"Thought running away wasn't an idea love," Spike said, randomly turning his head to see how far ahead they were.

"It's not an idea. It's instinct. Two completely different things." Buffy pushed herself more, trying to get more distance in her steps. Buffy's mind started to work, taking in the sights and forming a strategy. Buffy grabbed Spike's hand and pulled him toward the town. "I got a plan." Spike followed her lead, which led him into a wood shop. Spike's eyes darted to all the possible stakes around him. "Start breaking stuff. I'll be right back."

"Whaoh, you want me to make stakes by breaking up these chairs and tables?"  
"Spike, I don't have time to argue."

"But I can die from a splinter, now you're putting me in the center of a room of wood!"

"They are vampires too and we need stakes. Now break some stuff and I'll be right back." She ran out the front door and Spike rolled his eyes at the room of death. He picked up a chair and broke it on the floor. Next he grabbed a small table and smashed it against the floor's stone surface. Buffy was back in a matter of seconds. "We gotta go!" she grabbed some stakes and ran out the back door. Spike took a couple stakes and followed her outside and into the woods. He zigged and zagged his way around the trees, keeping his eyes on the blonde in front of him. Buffy stopped suddenly when they came to a roomier part of the woods.

"Why are we stopping?" Spike looked around and noticed there was a fifteen-foot circumference of no trees around them. "It's like Mother Nature's coliseum."

"Shut up."

Buffy put a wooden handle in his hand. "What's this?" Spike wondered aloud. Buffy walked about six feet away with a wooden handle that resembled his. "What the bloody hell is this?"

"It's a butcher tool."

"What, they confuse the hunk of dead meat with two pieces of wood?" Spike made her idea sound ridiculous.

"No, look moron." Buffy put her finger right above a thin black line. "This is very sharp and hopefully very effective when it comes to a vampire's neck."

"What is it?"

"I don't know. It wasn't labeled. I thought 'oo, sharp thing. Good." They watched the oncoming mob. "Just hold it tightly and go for the neck."

"Are we supposed to keep this up with everyone of these birds?"

"That's why there are stakes for back up." Buffy looked forward and noticed the nearest vamp was only ten feet away. "Get ready!" The vamps ran straight for them, most to Buffy. Spike and Buffy tugged the wire and twisted around each other to decapitate as many vamps as they could. They were dropping like flies. They took out over a hundred in five minutes.

Finally they were left were left with about fifty vamps. They were preying along the cover of the trees. They watched Spike and Buffy turn around frantically in hopes of catching one of them in mid attack instead of being caught by surprise. "Now what Slayer?"

"Just keep your eyes open."

"Not likin' that plan. Why don't we just split up and take'em on?"

"Did you notice how good this plan was working? I say we stick with this plan because they aren't in here because they're scared." Then Buffy yelled out to them, "Right?"

Two ran out from the woods and Spike and Buffy got into their stance. Suddenly, they both were knocked over from behind. Spike rolled to the left while Buffy rolled to the right. Buffy kicked her legs up in the two vamps faces and landed on her feet. "Do you have the sharp thingy?"

"Sorry love, I dropped it." He knocked one to the floor with a kick to the head. She scrambled out and stood to fight. Spike side kicked the advancing vampire in the stomach. She went flying backward, landing hard on her back. The other vamp rushed him but Spike grabbed her legs and pushed them up, forcing her into a back roll away from him.

"You dropped it!" Buffy blocked a punch to her head and kicked the vamp's stomach before punching her in the face.

"You dropped it too!" Spike retaliated. More vamps emerged from the woods. Buffy whipped out her stake and killed the two vamps she was dealing with before three more arrived. She spun kicked two of them in the face and gave the third a right hook. One of the vamps punched her from behind. Then she kicked her behind her knees, making Buffy fall to the ground. Buffy tried crawling away with her hands searching through the grass but the vamp jumped on top of her and turned her over.

"Now who's afraid?" The vampire smiled. She opened her mouth and went in for a bite.

Buffy tied the sharp string around the vampire's neck and pulled. The girl's head rolled off and she turned to ash. "You, if you had enough time." Buffy took the vampires out quickly with her tool. Spike was winning on his side but he could use a little help when thirty more girls joined in the fight. Buffy came up from behind and decapitated five in a heartbeat. The sixth turned around and kicked Buffy in the stomach. Then she punched her across the face. Buffy ran towards the nearest tree, the vamp right on her tail. Buffy got a couple steps up the tree, flipped over the vamp and decapitated her.

Spike staked four and was kicked in the abdomen by another. "A little help Buffy!"

"Right."

After about ten more minutes they were all gone. "Now that was a rush," Buffy said. She was wearing a huge smile. "I feel like Faith right now. I feel so energetic and powerful. I got a complete body rush going on. I just wanna-" She stopped when she looked at Spike. Finishing with 'have sex' didn't seem like such a good idea so she opted for, "enjoy a really big cookie."

Spike scoffed at her. "A cookie. I can see your so called Slayer counterpart fighting a bunch of vampires and then hunkering down on a soft sofa to eat a nice cookie."

"You never met her," Buffy defended.

"But from what I was told she enjoyed tight leather pants, fighting and having a bit of a rough and tumble." Spike gave Buffy his sexy stare.

"No one mentioned the cookies? She used to carry bite size ones with her all the- wait, why am I defending myself. Especially to you."

"I think someone's ignoring what's between us."

Buffy gave him a horrific scowl. "Between us? There's nothing between us. Except space. And I'd like to keep it that way."

"Won't argue with ya there love."

"Stop calling me that. It's creepy."

Spike shook his head. "Well, now what do we do?"

"Nuh uh. This whole fighting the vampires thing was my idea. It's your turn."

"I fought too," Spike reminded.

"But we used my idea of the butchery… thing."

"I could've come up with that."

"And I could've come up with running away." Buffy smiled at her great arguments.

"Damn it!" Pernicus yelled. "They were so close to being killed. How did they- how could they- I can't finish a thought. There were three hundred and twenty-six girls there and half of them were gone in ten minutes. She is good. Maybe you need to try something else like, I don't know, actually killing her. "Cause I for one-" Pernicus started making a choking noise.

Iniquity's pointer finger and thumb were shakily in the form of an 'o' on her left hand. "Pernicus, when I inquire for you opinion I expect you to give it. If I pronounce nothing to you, you pronounce nothing to me. If I hear one more sound come out of your mouth, that I did not query you to make, I will kill you in such a way that not even the strongest magic will be able to bring you back. Understood?" She looked at Pernicus and his face was becoming very red and some veins were popping out of his head. "That's right, you can't talk because I'm closing your wind pipe. How about you kick your feet if you understand." Pernicus's feet looked like they were having a spasm before Iniquity dropped her hand. Pernicus fell to the ground and he was taking deep breaths and coughing. "Now, time to change things up for our little Slayer and her vampire friend."


	4. Miss Muffit

Chapter Four 

"What the-" Buffy was in a completely different place. She was in a bright meadow area filled with flowers which was a deep contrast between the trees that formed a dismal barrier around her. To her right was a wooden picnic basket. She carefully folded up the lid and saw some yellow cake with white frosting and a bottle of wine. As Buffy moved in such a way, she felt something holding her down. It was a red velvet cape. "Oh great. Now I'm Red Riding Hood. Last time I dressed as her it didn't turn out so well. That is unless you like a possessed house with creepy doors and then non-doors." Buffy stood up from the bed of violet flowers she was in. "And considering my luck so far today this shouldn't be any different." Buffy realized that Spike wasn't with her. "Spike!" she yelled, hoping to get an answer. "Spike!" She was getting no response. Wait, she might've heard something faint unless it was her imagination. "Spike!" She did! She heard him calling to her. _ I never thought I'd be happy hearing Spike call out my name. Wait… eewww gross. _She walked in his direction, entering the forest. "Spike!"

"Buffy!" Spike yelled. He was dressed in a red plaid shirt with dirty jeans and suspenders and big, black boots. Resting on his left shoulder was an ax. "Buffy!"

After another couple minutes of yelling they met up with each other in some brush. Buffy cracked up at the sight of Spike. "You look ridiculous!" she said between giggles. She was having trouble standing because of her full body laughter.

"Well aware Slayer."

Buffy inhaled deeply. "Okay." She turned to face him but only laughed more when she saw him again. "I'm sorry it's just so funny!"

"Ha ha," Spike said sarcastically. "Poke fun at Paul Bunyan. I at least have a nifty ax. You're stuck with a picnic basket. Good luck protectin' yourself with that."

Buffy settled herself and looked at Spike. "I still happen to be a Slayer and very good at improvising."

"What's in there anyway?" Spike reached for it but Buffy pulled it away.

"None of your business."

"You got some whips and handcuffs in there Slayer?"

"Why do you keep thinking like that?" Buffy inquired, expecting a real answer.

"Like what love?"

"Like a guy." Spike looked down at himself as a response. "And stop calling me love." Buffy turned back in the direction she came from.

"I know this little story. Haven't taken any shortcuts have ya?" Spike asked as he followed her.

"I found myself in a flower field and then I called for you. So, no." Buffy pushed away the hanging branches and weaved around the pricker bushes.

"Where we goin'?"

"There was a path back here."

"Dunno Slayer, Big Bad Wolf might pop out and say 'boo.'" Spike had himself a little chuckle.

"Well then you can cut him in half with your 'nifty ax.'" Buffy pushed forward and made it to the dirt path she had passed. "Here we are."

"Now which way do we go?"

"I'm goin' with a Ralphie."

"Say that again," Spike requested.

"It's a funny way Willow and I distinguish right and left. Right's a Ralphie and left is a-"

"Wait, let me guess. A loophie." Spike laughed at his own joke. Buffy wasn't joining in.

"Actually it's Louie, but close," she said with a sneer.

"You and your Scoobies are a bunch of whack jobs, ya know that Slayer?"

"You're the one that's always hanging around us," Buffy retorted. She continued down the path remaining cautious of her surroundings. Spike's voice kept chattering away and making it hard for her to hear on coming prey.

"And ya think you lot would know that-"

"Spike!" Buffy yelled as she faced him. "I can not hear anything except you yapping your trap. So zip it and pay attention to the problem at hand!" Buffy turned back to the path and continued on her way.

"Our problem? We're walking down an empty path and the sun's shining. Bloody hell!" he screamed realizing he's been close to exposure to the sun's rays.

"Alternate dimension retardo," Buffy eluded.

"Right, I knew that. Anyway, this is an alternate dimension to _me_ but probably not the vampire grandma we're headin' for right? We'll be-" Before Spike could finish his sentence the sky became dark and the sun was gone.

Buffy furrowed her brow and faced Spike. "Why did you say that! Every time someone says that, something bad happens. You totally screwed us!"

"Calm down Miss Muffit."

"I'm Little Red Riding Hood! Notice the cape?" Buffy stopped once she heard something rustling. "What was that?"

"What?" Spike's mouth was rapidly coated by Buffy's hand. Her warm skin heated up his entire body. The rustling started again and Buffy's head darted in its direction, which caused her to remove her hand from his mouth. "Oh, that." Their eyes were caught by a dark figure, running at top speed. "What the bloody hell is that?"

"I don't know." Suddenly it disappeared and the woods were silent. "Where did it go?"

Without warning, the giant beast jumped out onto the path. It was some sort of werewolf. A very big werewolf. It's teeth were huge and shining from it's drool. It was the size of a tow truck and it looked really hungry. Buffy and Spike screamed before darting in the other direction.

"What the Hell was that?" Spike asked. "Looked like a werewolf on steroids."

"Maybe that's supposed to be the wolf?" Buffy suggested.

"I don't remember the wolf being five stories high!" They were interweaving through the trees in hope of slowing the werewolf down.

He was right on their tail and he didn't lok phased at all by their running strategy. The werewolf was hitting tree trunks with his broad shoulders and they crumbled under his force. His claws were digging into the earth, leaving giant holes everywhere. He was growling from hunger which made Spike and Buffy try to run faster.

"Guessin' we can't outrun him love. What do you plan on doin'?"

"Stop calling me love!" Buffy screamed. She could feel the ground shaking every time the werewolf's feet met the ground.

"Got an idea." Spike grabbed Buffy's hand and jerked her right. The werewolf became angry at the sudden change in direction and used more strength to cut them off. "Do you trust me?" Spike asked as he kept running forward.

"Is that rhetorical?"

"I'm serious Slayer."

"There see, Slayer, why can't you say that more often."

The werewolf lept right in their path and growled. Spike kept running straight and dropped his legs and slid on the muddy surface over a cliff, Buffy followed behind him, unsure of where they were going. She held her breath at the last minute before she plunged into the water. The werewolf turned his head over the ledge and looked at the water. There was no movement. His breath was hoarse and deep. After one more minute of staring at the calm, blue surface he left.

Buffy came out of the water gasping for air. She swam over the edge where there was some sand and a couple rocks. She had short breath and an impulse to kill Spike (not that that was new, especially lately).

Spike trudged on land and screamed "Yea! Woo hoo! That was fun!"

"Fun?" Buffy repeated in anger and surprise.

"Can't say you were even a little excited Slayer? Don't ya just want to eat a big cookie?" Spike laughed.

"Spike, I am human. I can die in many other ways than a wooden stake being shoved in my heart."

"Are you dead?"

"No. Which is bad for you because you're going to be."

"Miss Muffit gonna rearrange my flower bed? Give me a basket with cookies in it? Oh no." Spike placed his hands on his face in mock fear.

Buffy untied the cape from her neck so it wouldn't strangle her and she stood up. She ignored Spike and grabbed her- _Oh no!_ Buffy looked around frantically. "Where's my basket?"

"What?"

"The basket I was holding, where is it!" Buffy went back into the water and dived in.

"Buffy!" Spike went in after her. She came up as he was about to dive in. "What the bloody hella re you doing?"

"I need that basket."

"Why?"

"So I can give it to my grandma."

"It's not your grandma."

"But if ewe don't bring her the basket then we'll be stuck here forever and I do not want to spend the rest of my life running from a hairy Tyrannosaurus Rex." Buffy dived back in and swam around. Spike followed her and aided in the searching. They came back up. "I don't see it love."

"Stop calling me love," she said lightly, from her lack of breath.

"Must've dropped it before we fell over the cliff."

"We didn't _fall over_ the cliff you _pulled_ us over." Buffy trudged out of the water and grabbed her cape. She started heading up the steep hill.

"Buffy," Spike called out as he followed her. He shook his legs to remove excess water and made his way right behind her. She was struggling getting a good plant in the wet, swampy ground. "Buffy."

"Forget it Spike. I just want tog et out of her-!" She slipped and coated her chest with mud from her impact. "Oh great." She pushed herself off and tried wiping off as much as she could.

"Maybe we shouldn't go directly up the hill love."

"Why must you insist on calling me that?" Buffy grabbed for branches of the trees that were planted in the mud. "Yes. Yes, this is good." She pulled herself halfway up the hill. Spike made his way behind her and aided her as much as he could. He snuck in a few butt grabs on the way.

They made it to the top after about twenty minutes and there was no sign of the werewolf, well aside from the broken trees and huge gouges in the earth. "There it is!" Buffy spotted the basket and ran toward it. It turned out it was only the top of the basket. The rest of it lied in pieces across the grass. "That stupid, evil hairball! He destroyed my basket."

"He didn't even leave the wine?" Spike asked.

"Oh yea, somehow that stayed in tact. Hello, the basket is scattered in a two-foot radius! Nothing is left!"

"Maybe the old bird'll accept your offering of a broken basket."

Buffy exhaled her frustration. "This day sucks so much!"

Spike's head darted to the right. "Buffy, we gotta go." Spike grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the path they were originally on. Once they made it he ran in the direction they were going.

Buffy whipped her hand free, making Spike stop instantly. He thought something grabbed her but she just stopped on her own free will. "We have to keep going," Spike insisted.

"What is going on?"

"I can hear it."

"The werewolf?"

"No God, we're real close these days," Spike sarcastically commented.

"If you can hear it now why didn't you hear it earlier?"

"Because I was busy arguing with you."

"And what're we doing now?" Buffy asked.

"Not running which we have to do, now come on!"

Spike went to grab her hand but Buffy pulled it away. "I can run on my own."

"Then do it!" Spike quickened his pace and ran. Buffy shrugged and followed.

They ran for about five minutes and then came to a small cottage. Buffy knocked on the door. "Hello?" Buffy called.

"Hello?" someone answered.

"It's Buff- I mean, Red Riding Hood. Can I come in?"

"Of coarse child."

Buffy reached for the door but stopped herself. She walked to the small yellow mailbox and kicked it in half. She grabbed the piece plants in the ground as a stake. She went back to the door and turned the cold knob. The house was dark, the small windows provided little light. "Grandma?" She called into the house. "Hello?"

"What's her name?" Spike asked in a whisper.

"I dunno… Grandma." Buffy and Spike stayed back to back, observing their surroundings. Buffy made her way to the bed and held her stake tightly as she pulled backl the curtain. Her grandmother screamed at the sight of her holding a stake. It made Buffy scream and Spike scream. Finally Buffy stopped and comforted, "It's okay, it's okay. It's me." Her grandmother stopped screaming which made Spike stop in turn.

"Goodness gracious darling, what are you doing? You trying to give me a heart attack?"

"I'm sorry I came across a very big… ugh, thing and I thought maybe it got to you."

"No, sweetie, I'm fine." Her grandmother smiled. She was wearing a pink sleeping gown and big glasses resting on the perch of her nose. "Who is this?"

"Oh this is … Daren. I came across him in the woods. He's a lumber jack… guy." Buffy smiled to give her more comfort.

"You just met this man?"

"No, I've sadly known him for awhile."

Spike sneered at her comment and smiled back at the grandma. "Hello Mrs… Grandma. It's nice to meet you."

"You're British."

"Yes I am."

"What are you doing here?"

"I wish I knew." Spike kept a smile on, trying to be as nice as he could. His smile disappeared as he felt the ground shake. Buffy froze when she noticed it also.

"Oh dear, is that an earthquake?"

"I don't think we're that lucky," Buffy said.

Spike rushed to the window and tried to see something. "I don't see it."

"It?"

"That big thing I was telling you about," Buffy said.

"It's getting closer," Spike said, going back over to Buffy.

"No kidding!" Buffy took her grandmother's hand. "Grandma, we have to go."

"Go? I can't honey, I'm sick."

"Well you're gonna be dead if you stay here much longer."

"Little red, what is going on?"

"Would ya shut up and listen to her?" Spike yelled.

"He's not very nice," her grandmother said.

The werewolf crashed into the wall by the bed and sent everyone flying through the wall with the door. The bed landed on top of Spike and Buffy was lying out on the dirt path with broken stone and cement lying on her. Her dress was all cut up and she had a scratch on her cheek. "Spike," Buffy said with worry. She ran over to him and lifted the bed. Spike pushed himself out, not looking in great shape either. "Where's grandma?"

"Buffy," Spike said, noticing the huge creature that was standing in place of the house. Buffy turned her attention to the werewolf which had a piece of a pink dress between it's teeth.

"Oh my God."

"Let's walk carefully so not to grab his attention and then run when we're home free."

The werewolf's eyes darted in their direction. "Run!" Buffy yelled.


	5. Oh Balls!

Chapter Five 

"Where could they be?" Tara asked everyone.

"I don't believe there's a single place in this bloody city that we haven't checked," Giles said, completely exhausted. He sat at the wooden desk in the living room. His glasses were held between his pinkie and ring finger on his right hand while the other fingers rubbed his temple.

"There has to be something. Will, can you do a locator spell?" Xander asked.

"I've tried three times already. According to the results she's dropped off this astro-plain, possibly in a different dimension."

"Can you locate her in a different dimension? Ya know, pin point where she is?"

"Xander there's thousands and thousands of cosmos out there. There's no way we could pin point anything outside of this dimension," Tara informed, amazingly calm.

"There has to be something," Xander persisted. He took up his pacing again.

"We're trying Xander. You're not the only one who's worried about Buffy," Willow informed him.

"What about Spike? He's missing too, maybe Captain Peroxide took her."

"How could he? I mean, he has that chip in his head, not to mention Buffy could take him in a fight," Willow rationalized.

"Maybe he got someone else to do it. Have we forgotten about Adam?"

Giles put his glasses back on the brim of his nose and he faced the rest of the group. "We must calm down and face this rationally. We'll keep looking, check more tombs, hospitals, maybe some more magic, but we must stop fighting amongst ourselves."

Xander nodded. "Okay, so what should we do?"

"I don't know!"

"We can't run forever Buffy!"

"I know Spike! We just have to make sure-" Buffy was cut off by the werewolf's sudden appearance.

"Bloody hell!" Spike screamed. "I thought it was behind us!"

"It is," Buffy said, very worried with her head turned behind them.

Spike turned his head and noticed the previous werewolf was just seconds away from swallowing them in one gulp. "When was there two? All of a sudden there's two!" Buffy already took off to the left and he quickly started after her. "How are there two!"

"The Grandma."

"She should be dead if that thing touched her!"

"Should, but isn't. We need to come up with something fast."

"Right now would be helpful Slayer. You're supposed to be resourceful."

"Hey, I'm not the only one in this scenario," Buffy argued.

The werewolves split up and worked on a cut-off strategy. The ground was shaking immensely and Buffy and Spike couldn't run any faster. The werewolves were gaining ground and successfully cornered them.

"Crap." Buffy said. She looked at the huge, hairy beasts that towered above them. "I got a plan."

"Better late than never."

"They eat me and you run."

Spike turned to her in shock. "What! What kind of plan is that? That could've been accomplished ages ago."

"I get swallowed whole and then you cut me from the stomach."

"Only one problem love, Grandma was eaten too but in this rendition she's a werewolf."

"Just get out of here and figure something out." Buffy pushed him away.

Spike started running, knowing he couldn't change her mind. His heart was being torn to pieces within his chest as he heard them growl and huff. He couldn't bring himself to turn his head, in fear of his heroically stupid ambitions of running to her and getting them both killed.

"This is terrific!" Pernicus exclaimed. "They're going to die, just like you planned!"

"Don't get so cocky Pernicus."

He stopped his jovial celebration. "Why're you raining on the parade? It's in your honor."

"This Slayer is extremely intelligent. You can't rule victory out on her part." Iniquity stared at the crystal ball, appearing to be mesmerized. She saw one of the werewolves snatch Buffy from the ground with its mouth and discard of her in one gulp. Iniquity watched it with much interest.

Spike had searched the previously traveled route of their first escape for his ax. He started at their drop off and of coarse found it at the beginning of their run through the woods. "Always the last bloody place you look." Now all he had to do was find the werewolves. As he was searching he ran through his life cycle since the first time he made it to Sunnydale. First he tried killing Buffy and her mom, then he teamed up with her to stop Angelus, and then he kidnapped Willow to do a spell. After that he came back and found Adam who he helped try to stop her and then he fell in love with her a few months later. Now he craved to be around, hear her voice and breathe her sweet fragrance of lavender and vanilla.

They have definitely had their bumps in the road, or in their case collisions. Actually there isn't even a 'their' there. He's been fixated with her and he has yet to tell her. _Don't' think she'd appreciate it much. She'd probably kick my ass._

He heard a rustle in a bush, however with his hearing the bush could be a mile away. A werewolf came charging down the path. He tried hard to run but his body wouldn't let him. He held the ax tightly and readied himself for extreme impact. Suddenly, the werewolf stopped. It looked down at its stomach as if he never saw it. Without warning something bursts out of his chest like an alien. It was another werewolf that leapt over Spike's head.

_Buffy._

The other werewolf's immense carcass looked like a skin rug with shotty craftsman ship. Its innards were in a disorganized pile around it and blood ran like a river from the corpse. The werewolf was soaked with blood and it didn't seem to mind. It actually licked itself and enjoyed every drop it could taste. After a minute of bathing it shook itself free of the rest and turned its attention to Spike.

Spike first tried to ration with it. "Buffy? It's me. Spike. I mean, I know we don't get along, well, at all, but if ya kill me ya might be stuck here forever. So why don't you not do that and we'll figure somethin' out."

The werewolf growled in anger. She had the same large white fangs and loads of drool as the previous.

"No then?" Spike asked.

She growled again then got in running position. Spike quickly noticed and darted through the woods to his right. The werewolf followed him.

"Bloody Slayer and her stupid plans!" Spike kept running and made his way to the field Buffy found herself in. Of coarse he didn't know this and he kinda had his hands full. He continued fleeing and tried to come up with a plan. "How are you s'posed to think while a giant fur coat's chasin' after ya and intendin' on eatin' ya?" he asked himself. He knew his criticism wasn't helping but this was by far the strangest day of his life. And after living in Sunnydale for a year, that's saying a lot.

The werewolf jumped in the air and landed right in front of Spike. It tried to grab him with its teeth but he fell to the ground as he attempted to turn around. "Bloody hell!" He scrambled to his feet and ran in the opposite direction. He made it about twenty feet before the other werewolf made an appearance. "Son of a bitch!" he screamed. He looked back and forth between the werewolves and came up with an idea. "I just hope this stupid plan works." He ran toward the other werewolf (which is the Grandmother) and made Buffy chase after him. He slid between her legs and just lied in the grass under its stomach wondering what the hell he was doing.

The werewolf (Buffy) got angry and swatted at the Grandmother werewolf. She growled and jumped on Buffy. They started biting and fighting with each other. "It bloody worked." He flipped over to his stomach and watched them fight. He wasn't sure who was who any more but he kept rooting for Buffy. Silently of coarse because otherwise they would remember that he was there.

One of the werewolves finally sunk its teeth in the other's neck and jerked them to the ground. The injured werewolf was trying to swat the opposing werewolf off but it kept its grip. The werewolf fell to the ground in a lifeless slump while the other just laid there, with it's teeth still in place, making sure it had really won.

"I hope that's Buffy," Spike whispered to himself.

The werewolf abruptly turned its glance to Spike.

"Oh balls."

The werewolf growled and charged him. Spike took off, back into the woods but quickly stopped when he realized he didn't see the werewolf any more. "Bloody hell." He looked up and around but he couldn't see it anywhere. Spike straightened his back and walked with purpose back into the meadow. "All right, that's it. I'm done bein' your meal to-go. Come out and get me! I'm ready!" He held onto his ax and waited for it to bolt out somewhere. Anywhere. Nothing happened. "What the-" He walked further into the meadow and saw a naked body lying in the grass. He recognized the blonde hair immediately and ran towards her, dropping his ax. "Buffy!"

Buffy's body was lying stomach down in the grass. She had more scrapes on her body, probably from the fight. He turned her over and fully realized the fact that she was naked. "Bloody hell!" He laid her down and kept his eyes off her. He unbuttoned his shirt and removed it from his body. Spike went to wrap it around her but paused when he saw her breasts. "Nice," he commented before cloaking her with his shirt. He picked her up and carried her back into the woods in hope of finding another house.

"What happened!" Pernicus yelled. "She was a werewolf and she was going to eat him! Why is she human!"

"Red Riding Hood doesn't become a werewolf in the story," Iniquity said, hiding her annoyance that her plan failed.

"So! The wolf isn't a werewolf but that happened?"

"Yes, but the story can probably only be bent so much."

"But she was there and he was about to die, I don't-" Pernicus was cut off by his body suddenly hitting a tree. "Ow!" Then his head started repeatedly hitting the tree and he kept saying "Ow! Ow! Ow!" after every impact.

Iniquity kept flicking her right pointer finger, which made Pernicus's head hit the tree. She stopped after about the fifteenth time and returned to her work. She thought of another story to send them to and circled her fingers around the crystal ball.

The surrounding abruptly changed. Now it looked like Spike was in a field of extremely tall grass. It towered above his head and a nearby tree looked like a skyscraper. _Buffy!_ She was gone. _Where is she? I have to-_ He went to run but found he couldn't. He looked down at himself. "Oh balls," he said. He saw someone rise from the ground. It was Buffy. Right now Spike was as big as her palm.

Buffy looked around with confusion. She was wearing a dark blue dress that clung to her body and had a minimal neckline. "Great. What Steven King fairytale is this?"

"Buffy!" Spike called to her.

"Spike?" she said. She didn't see him anywhere.

"Look down!"

Buffy turned her attention to the grass beneath her feet and her mouth dropped at the sight. "Spike?"

"Yeah."

Buffy tried holding back her laughter but it came out anyway. "You're a frog."

"Are ya sure?" he asked, pretending he didn't know. _Sometimes I just don't know about this girl._

Buffy continued laughing on the inside. "This is really funny."

"Yes, hilarious. Now how does this book go."

"Uh, I bring you to the castle, you eat dinner with me and my father and then you ask to sleep in my room. Then I kiss you and… ewww," Buffy commenting realizing she wasn't only kissing a frog but the frog was Spike.

"You kiss me?"

"And you become a human."

"Kiss me now! Kiss me now!" Spike said, jumping in the air.

"I'm not kissing you."

"What? You have to. The story says so!" he defended.

"What're you gonna do Kermit?"

"Buffy, be fair. I helped you when you turned back into a human after your werewolf phase."

Buffy took a deep breath. He had a point. Damn him. She picked him up in her hand and gave him a kiss on the head. Nothing happened. "Maybe you need to actually kiss me."

"I did."

"On the head."

"It was still a kiss."

"Buffy!" Spike yelled.

"Do you really think you should be using that tone when I can crush you with my foot?" Buffy prepared herself for the kiss and laid one on his lips. Still nothing. Buffy dropped him and wiped her mouth. She started spitting.

"I thought I became a human."

"Yeah well, I just kissed a frog." She wiped her mouth harder, trying to get the unseen germs off.

"Maybe it's something else. Let's head to your castle."

"Fine with me." Buffy got up and wiped herself off. Luckily the castle was in sight and they didn't have to go looking for it. Buffy started walking and Spike hopped behind her.

"Hey, Buffy. Can you carry me?" he asked.

"What?"

"Carry me? These legs don't' jump very well."

Buffy sighed. "Fine." She held out her hand and he jumped in. They made it to the castle and got in with no problem.

"This is goin' surprisingly well."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to compliment how well something is or isn't going? It leads to bad."

"Sorry," he said in annoyance.

Buffy made it to the dining hall where Giles was sat at the end. "Giles!" She ran to him and gave him a hug.

"Well good evening daughter." He hugged her back. "Oh goodness, where is your golden ball?"

"Huh? Oh, right. Uh, it fell into a well. I think."

"Well I shall have one of the knights retrieve it." He gestured to one and he started on his way.

"Thank you."

"Hey!" Spike yelled in a whisper.

Buffy placed him on the table. "Dad, this is a frog who… got my golden ball out of the well and he asked to have dinner with us."

"I thought your ball is in the well."

"It is. It fell back in but I didn't want to make him get it again."

"Oh, well then I accept you as my guest," he said to the little green frog.

"Thank you," Spike answered.

Shortly after, knights came running in. "Sire, we are under attack!"

"That's it?" Buffy said with surprise.

"Warlocks, trolls and flying demons by the looks of it."

"Crap."

"Never compliment on how good something is going," Spike mocked Buffy.

"Shut up Spike."

"Daughter, go hide in your chamber. Now!"

"But I-"

"Now!" Giles yelled. He gestured to the stairs behind him.

Buffy grabbed Spike and ran up the stairs to her room after five other mistakes.

**Author's Note:** Thanks everyone for the reviews. I'm glad you're liking it. And I already have the story planned out and from your suggestions you gave me, I think you'll be pleased.


	6. Too Close

Chapter Six 

Buffy placed Spike down on her bed. Her bed had a wooden frame that encircled it and there were burgundy curtains that covered the bed's circumference. The room was very cold from lack of decoration. There were, however, two paintings: one was a painting of grassy hills with a peaceful stream flowing between them and the other was a painting of a young Buffy in a puffy blue dress on her mother's lap. It looked like her real mother; the hair, the smile, even the way she held Buffy. Buffy touched the painting as if she would be able to feel her mother's skin and breathe her motherly smell. She's been sick lately and in and out of the hospital. Deep down Buffy was scared for her and what may happen but on the outside she was brave and wore a smile.

"Buffy," Spike said for the fifth time.

Buffy snapped out of her daze and turned to him. "What? Sorry."

"You all right love?"

"Yea, fine."

She didn't yell at him for calling her 'love.' Something must be on her mind, but Spike wasn't going to push; especially now that he was as big as an action figure. "Who do you think's doin' this?" he asked, changing the non-subject.

"I have no clue. It seems every week there's a new big bad that decides, 'hey, I think messing with the Slayer's head sounds like fun.' I just want to know what's going on. I mean, are we in our world and someone just changed it into a fairy tale world or are we in a completely different world and my friends are worrying about me back home?"

"Dunno. Haven't seen Red or her bosom buddy anywhere."

"Yea, the only person we've seen is Giles, but he isn't acting like us. It's like he's always been here whereas we just arrived and are freaking out about."

"Maybe you should kiss me so I can become a human," Spike suggested.

"We did that twice and it didn't work," Buffy informed him, but not in a snotty way.

"Can't blame a bloke for tryin'."

Suddenly the castle started shaking. Buffy steadied herself and carefully peered out her window. She looked down on the swarming mass of ooglie booglies. "That's a lot of peop-" A huge dragon eye abruptly blocked her view and it glared right at her. Buffy screamed in shock. The dragon let out a loud scream.

Buffy ducked and covered her ears and Spike hopped over to her pillows. "No hands! No hands!" he frantically yelled. He burrowed his head to try and block out the noise.

A man covered in torn cloth jumped through her window. He was bearing a large wooden stick with a sharp point at the highest end. Buffy looked up and jerked back as he tried to run her through with his weapon. She ripped a slit in her dress and flipped to her feet. She punched him several times and then grabbed his shoulders before kneeing him in the face. She tried to kick him but he grabbed her and lifted her over his head, then threw her down on the stone ground.

Spike pulled himself out from under the pillows and saw Buffy and some kind of deformed thing fighting her. "Go Buffy!" he yelled for support.

Buffy kicked the demon into the wall and tried punching him. He grabbed Buffy's arm, punched her and flung her across the room. He ran towards her with his stick and attempted to stab her. She grabbed one end and used his momentum to spin him around into the wall. He fell to the ground and Buffy jumped on top of him. They struggled for which way the point of the wooden stick would go.

Another demon came running in while Buffy's back was turned. He went to run towards her and Spike jumped in the way. He knew it wouldn't be much help but maybe it'll bring her attention to the new situation. The man just backhanded him, which sent Spike flying into the wall. His body fell to the ground like a rag doll. Buffy's attention was drawn and she saw Spike's body lying on the floor. "Spike!" she yelled with worry. The demon took advantage of the distraction and flipped her over his head. Buffy stood up and wrapped her arm around his neck and with a quick jerk his body fell limp.

Spike's frog body morphed into human form and he was dressed in a velvet blue outfit. He looked around in confusion and looked down. "I have legs!" he announced as he stood up.

Buffy was being strangled by the opposing demon. She slammed her arms down on the crease of his elbow and kicked him away from her. She jabbed him in the face and swiped his legs out from under him. She grabbed the sharp stick and thrust it through his neck. His body squirmed for a moment in shock before he became still.

"Are you okay?" Spike asked as he rushed over to her.

Buffy nodded. "I'm fine. What about you? You okay?"

"Uh…" Spike was caught off guard. "Yeah, fine. Not a frog anymore."

"I noticed. Good job."

"Only it took a sharp blow to my small body as opposed to a gentle peck on the cheek."

Buffy held her hands up in defense, "Hey, in the story I've seen it's based on a kiss. Unless I combined that story with the other ones that end in a kiss. Ya know like, Snow White. Sleeping Beauty."

Spike nodded and laughed. _Are we having a conversation? Without anger and argument?_

"So, about getting out of here," Buffy said.

"I think we should do it as quickly as possible," Spike added.

"I second that." The castle shook again. "Very quickly."

"Kally!" Giles yelled. "Kally!"

"Who's Kally? Am I Kally?" Buffy asked.

"You could be Kally."

"I don't look like a Kally."

"They're almost the same. Buffy, Kally."

"Kally!" Giles ran into her room and hugged. "Thank goodness. You must get out of here. The attack on the castle is becoming too extensive. You must run." Giles looked over and saw Spike. "Who is this man?"

"Oh this is the frog. He's really a Prince."

"I'm Spike," he said.

The castle shook again but this time they heard the wooden door break and screams came from the opposing crowd. They looked out the window and saw them being pushed back. "What on Earth is going on?" Giles asked himself. They saw three witches attacking the immense rabble. "The witches made it."

The attack was over in ten minutes. The opposition was destroyed and the bodies were presently being taken care of. Giles was talking to the sorceresses downstairs while Buffy and Spike were in her room. Buffy was sitting on her bed and Spike was leaning against the wall across from her.

"You all right Buffy?" he asked sincerely.

"Honestly, I'm very confused. And not just about this freak show of a fantasy." Her fingers were gripping the side of her bed in hops that it would absorb her emotion so she wouldn't have to deal with it.

"What do you mean love?" Spike pushed himself off the wall and he walked towards her.

Buffy moved from her bed so Spike wouldn't get too close. "I'm just trying to figure out what's going on. Between us."

"Us?" Spike repeated.

"It sounds weird when you say it too. See Spike we have always had this hate relationship. First you crash my parent teacher night, which by the way was a blessing in disguise, and then you get a chip in your head. I felt pity for you and couldn't kill you because you weren't a threat. And for some time I've been developing these feelings which I've tried to ignore and pushed back because I do not want this to happen again."

"Again? You've dated me before?"

"No, but I did date a vampire and there's no good there."

"I am nothing like Angel," Spike insisted. He hated being compared to him.

"But you both have the same lifestyle of sleep during the day, hunt at night, a diet that consists of A positive and O negative and I just don't want to go through that again."

"Yes, but I'm not going to raise Acathla and start an apocalypse. And I'm not going to lose my soul after a bit of a rough and tumble."

"Because you don't have one," Buffy reminded him.

"Is that all that's holding you back? A soul? I'll go to the ends of the world and find a soul if that's what I have to do. I want to be with you Buffy."

"I kinda got that feeling. Before this whole debacle."

They were interrupted by the three witches. "Princess," the red-haired one said. "We're glad you're all right."

"Willow? Anya? Cordelia?" Buffy asked, looking at the familiar faces.

They were unsure of what she was talking about. All three gave her a good look over. "You're not the Princess," the Anya look alike said.

"Who are you?" Cordelia asked, moving in closer to her.

"My name's Buffy and I was brought here."

"You were brought here?" Anya moved in as well.

"Him too!" Buffy pointed to Spike, trying to take their eyes off of her.

"What do you want with the Princess?" Willow asked.

"Nothing, I don't even know who she is. I'm just trying to go home."

"Where is your home?"

"It's Sunnydale California. It's above a Hell mouth."

"We should send them back before the king notices," Cordelia told Willow. "I believe they sincerely didn't mean to come here."

"We can help you," Willow informed them.

"Great!" Buffy said.

"Oh no you don't," Iniquity said. She snapped her fingers and her crystal ball went black. A couple seconds later Spike and Buffy emerged in a new setting.

"That was too close Iniquity."

"I am well aware Pernicus. But that will not happen again."

"Now where the bloody hell are we?" Spike asked. He looked around and realized Buffy wasn't there. "Buffy?" He was in another castle and it was becoming dark outside. There was a knock on his door. Spike jumped to his feet and readied himself for attack.

"Are you ready for dinner yet soldier?" a woman's voice asked. It was familiar.

"Soldier?" He opened the door and saw Anya. "Anya. Bring us back to Sunnydale," he said, grabbing her by the arms.

Anya squirmed loose. "Get your hands off me. I am a princess. You do not touch me simpleton. Now brush off your dirty rags and come down for dinner."

Spike was dumbfounded. He followed her down the hall because he had no idea where the dining hall was. He walked into an average sized dining room with a high ceiling. A chandelier hung at both ends of the table. Giles was sitting at one end with six girls on his left and five girls on his right. Anya walked over to Giles and kissed his cheek. "Good evening daddy."

"Good evening Lexi."

Anya sat down in the vacant seat next to someone who looked like Tara. Spike looked around, trying to absorb everything and sat in the empty seat. Buffy looked down from the end of the table and widened her eyes. Spike widened his eyes too, as if they were communicating without words.

They were interrupted by Giles saying, "Hazel, are you feeling better?"

Buffy looked around for Hazel to answer and she caught on that they were all looking at her. She turned to Giles and answered, "Yes. I'm feeling fine now. Thank you."

"Now, young soldier, have you figured out where my daughter's go at night?"

Spike's face looked like a Picasso painting. He wasn't sure how he should answer so he went with: "No."

"No," Giles repeated. "You have two more nights to find out. Otherwise you'll be beheaded."

"What!" Buffy and Spike asked at the same time.

"That's a little harsh Watcher."

"Yea, Giles- I mean, Dad, isn't that a little too much?"

"He agreed to these terms before he spent the night. Five other princes have been beheaded and I won't change the rules now."

"But beheaded?" Spike repeated. He was hoping he would be told he heard wrong but they never "corrected" him.

"Are you sure you're all right Hazel? You've never denounced this idea before." Giles looked at her with worry, the same worry he always showed towards her.

"I'm sorry," Buffy covered. "I'm just a little woozy and confused. You're right, that's the rule that was set and we can't change it now."

The rest of dinner was silent. The only sound you heard was the silverware rubbing together or hitting the plate. After dinner Spike returned to his room and the twelve princesses were close behind.

"Do you want to skip tonight Hazel?" the Cordelia look alike asked.

"Skip what?"

"Dancing. I mean, we don't expect you to dance all night if you're not feeling well. We don't mind missing a night of dancing."

"I'm fine. Stop fussing," Buffy insisted.

Willow approached her with a cup of milk. "Here's the wine."

"For?"

"For the soldier. Ya know, so he doesn't follow us."

"Oh right. Uh, where's his room again?"

"Two doors down," Anya said.

"Right. I'll be right back." Buffy quietly left the room and walked down the hall. She knocked on Spike's door. When he didn't answer she opened the door. "Spike?" she whispered.

"Buffy?" he called.

"Where are you?"

"Right here." Spike's head popped out of nowhere on the bed and he walked over to her but his body was gone.

"Holy crap!" Buffy yelled, clinging to the door.

"What?"

"You're body… it's missing!"

"Are you all right?"

"Look, you have no body. There is no body where a body should be. You're just a creepy floating head."

Spike looked down at his lack of body. "Whoah!" The invisible blanket he had on fell from his shoulders and his body appeared. "Oh, look, I have a body."

Buffy grabbed the blanket from the ground. On one side it was a light brown but the other side was invisible. "You have an invisible blanket. But this story seems very far from Harry Potter though."

"You don't know this story?"

"Not a clue."

"That's not good," Buffy said, even though it's redundant.

"Now what do we do? "

"Well, I was told to give you this wine so you couldn't follow us. So don't drink this. Why don't you wrap yourself up in that blanket and follow me into the room."

"All right." Spike took the blanket from her and wrapped himself up. "Can ya see me?"

"Nope, let's go." They went back to the room and Buffy made sure to leave time for Spike to inch in. She whispered, "Spike?"

"Behind ya love," he whispered back.

Buffy shut the door and walked over to her sisters. "Father will soon lock the door, we must go make sure that the soldier has fallen asleep," Tara said.

"He did," Buffy quickly intervened. "I saw him fall asleep. I tried poking him and yelling at him but he didn't wake up."

Giles opened their door, hitting Spike. "Ow, bloody hell!"

Giles looked behind the door and didn't see anything so he just shook it off. "Good night my twelve princesses."

"Good night father!" eleven of them said in unison.

"Father," Buffy said, pretending she said the whole thing.

Giles closed the door and locked it. The eleven of them giggled and opened their closets, revealing extravagant gowns. Buffy went with the flow and watched everyone change. Buffy held her dress up and smiled at the girls as she inched over to Spike. "I know they can't see you," she whispered, "but I know you're there and I would like it if you looked away. Not that I would know if you did."

"I'm over here Slayer," Spike said over by the dressers. "And I'm not lookin'." Buffy quickly removed her nightdress and slipped on her gown. She put her hair up in a clip and left it at that.

"Everyone ready?" Willow asked.

"I feel strange," the replica of Amy said.

"You are always frightened Drazelle."

"But I feel like someone's watching."

"Watching?" Buffy asked in shock. "What's wrong with you? Who would be watching."

"I don't' know, but-"

"Just stop Drazelle. You can stay here if you want but the rest of us are going." With that Cordelia walked over to Buffy's bed and knocked on it. The bed slowly sank into the ground, revealing a dark cove. "Let's go girls. Hazel, you first of coarse."

Buffy pursed her lips and entered the darkness. The followed her one after the other and Spike, still hidden under his blanket, went in last, after Amy.

**Author's Note:** For those of you who don't know, this story is _The Twelve Dancing Princesses_. I'm sticking with Grimm's fairy tales and this was the one I thought of doing next. Are we liking it? I hope so.


	7. Option B

Chapter Seven

Now it was day two on the 'No Show Buffy' count and everyone was exhausted from looking for her and fighting vamps all night. Giles had a few scratches on his arm from being pushed into a tree and Xander had a lump on his head from when it made contact with a stone wall. Willow and Tara were just a little dirty and their hair was unkempt. Anya was sleeping on the dining room table because at the time she was so tired she thought it was a bed.

"We've been looking for twenty-four hours now," Xander informed everyone, barley having enough energy to look at the wrist that held his watch.

"Thanks Count," Willow said sarcastically.

"Huh?"

"You know, the puppet vamp from Sesame Street." Willow reminded him.

"Oh yea. Ya know, I liked vampires more when I thought they were all squishy and… well, only counted things."

"It definitely ruined what we know now. They like to eat people and… I guess they count. They have to count, right? 'Hey there's two girls going down that alley' or 'there goes those three meany vampires from last Tuesday.'"

"As riveting as this conversation is I think we should continue looking for Buffy," Giles suggested as he cleaned his glasses for the fiftieth time.

"Where?" Tara asked, trying to be helpful. Everyone looked at her as if it was an absurd question but it was perfectly legitimate. They have looked everywhere. Unless she shrunk and was finding solace in a hole in the sewer, they should've found her by now.

Xander decided to get up during the moment of silence and woke up his girlfriend. "Anya?.. Ahn?" He gave her a little shake. Anya stretched out and accidentally backhanded his nose. "OW!"

Anya shot up and looked around. She noticed she was lying on the table and asked, "Oh my God, did someone try to eat me?"

"No Ahn, you just fell asleep on the table."

"Why was I sleeping on the table?" she asked.

"Because you were tired and pretty convinced that was a bed last night." Xander held his arms out and gestured for her to slide over to him so he could help her. Anya gave him a weird look and slid off the other side. "Or don't allow me to brood, that's fine."

"What time is it?" she asked.

Xander looked at his watch. "It's 11:34."

"In the morning!" Anya exclaimed.

"No at night but the sun missed the memo."

"I have to open the store." Anya went to hustle out the door and she saw Giles sitting on the couch. "Giles. What are you doing here? Why aren't you worrying about the Magic Box."

"Because it's a store Anya. It can't get picked up and moved somewhere except under mystical circumstances."

"Where do you think we're living? Normal Town where everyone's normal and demons don't' come out to kill people and we don't have two lesbian witches sitting three inches from you?"

"Hey, I think the fact that we're lesbians isn't in any way important to your little scenario there. Not that I have a problem being a lesbian." Willow grabbed Tara's hand for reassurance.

"Anya, my slayer is missing and I for one would rather spend the rest of my life searching for her than receiving bundles of cash every second of the day," Giles said, trying to put it in Anya terms.

"You can do that? Get bundles of cash every second?"

Everyone took a deep breath. Xander held his hand up to signal to them that he would try to put in her terms better. "Anya, if we don't get Buffy back then we'll have to slay vampires for her. If we slay vampires for her, and you know we're not exactly pros or even mediocre amateurs, we may die and all the money in the world couldn't bring you back. If you want to go open the Magic Box and risk death on a much higher schedule, then go. If you want to look for Buffy and keep death at a close but now accustomed distance then help us."

Anya looked at everyone and then at Xander. "Can it just be open for the One o'clock rush?"

"Anya!" everyone yelled.

"Okay, okay, I'll help," Anya gave in.

Xander put his arm around her waist and smiled at everyone. "Most considerate person I ever met. How about you?"

Everyone rolled their eyes.

Iniquity's hair and cape were blowing in the wind. Her pale green eyes were fixed on the crystal ball. _This Slayer is extremely resourceful. I wonder what she has that the others didn't. Maybe-_ Iniquity rolled her eyes when she heard Pernicus yapping his trap. She went back to her thoughts and tried keeping her ears closed off to the annoying back noise.

"Come here little froggie," Pernicus said with a big rock held in his hand. The frog just looked at him with his froggie face and remained silent. "Come here froggie!" The frog stared him a few more seconds and jumped away from Pernicus. "Damn it!" Pernicus let out a scream as he threw the rock towards it, trying to squish its' little body. He missed it by… very much. "Hey Iniquity. You ever think about death?"

"I think about yours all the time," she said to herself.

"Some days I wake up and think 'Wow, today may be my last day alive. I should enjoy every moment and not take things for granted.' But then I forget about all that stuff and continue with any normal day. But now I'm thinking about and this may be the last time I get to go to sleep. Well, and have the option of waking up."

"I'm not that lucky," Iniquity said aloud.

"Like, right there, that would've been the frog's last day. But because he was favored by luck, he's still alive."

"He was favored by your lack of muscle and aim. Now stop talking!"

"Why do you keep looking in that crystal ball? It's not like magically she's gonna-"

"Pernicus." He stopped talking and gave her his full attention. Well, half attention, because he never pays full attention. Not even when he's threatened. "Do you remember when I told you that I will kill you in such a way that not even the strongest magic will be able to bring you back? And please, just nod." Pernicus nodded. "Well that wasn't an empty threat. Now shut UP!" Pernicus pursed his lips and made a motion that he was zipping it shout and locking it.

Buffy carefully led them down the misty path. She was ready for anything this Grimm Reaper tale had to throw at her. She was careful not to seem too concerned because then the others would get suspicious. Amy screamed out in fear, turning everyone's head. Spike whispered "bugger!" to himself.  
"What's wrong now Drazelle?" Cordelia asked.  
"Something was holding my dress!"  
"Don't be so foolish. You probably just caught it on a nail," Anya rationed.  
They continued down the path, Amy very skittish in the back. Spike tried watching where he was going but his feet were invisible to him too. Buffy finally made it down to a beautiful line of trees with silver, glittery leaves. Spike's blanket caught on a branch and he tried to quietly tug it free. Amy looked behind her and saw a branch moving furiously. "Get off ya bloody wanker!" he whispered to the blanket.  
"Look!" Amy yelled. Everyone turned their heads. Spike ceased his movement. "That branch was just shaking everywhere!"  
"Amy, you've been on edge the past two nights and I have to say I'm quite sick of it. If you want to turn around and go back, then go. Otherwise, button your lip for the rest of the walk and we won't tell your prince that you're insane," Cordelia told her.  
"Marie!" Anya yelled at Cordelia. "Don't be so harsh."  
"You have to admit that this fiasco she's been creating the past two nights is a little worn out now."  
"I didn't say it wasn't, there's just a better way to handle it."  
"Fine. Handle it."  
Spike yanked the blanket free and the shaking caught Cordelia's eye. "What was that?" she asked calmly.   
"Seriously," Buffy intervened. "Would you all stop freaking out about a few shaking branches and stepped on dresses. What do you think someone's wearing an invisible blanket and following us? That's just ridiculous." They all looked at Buffy in confusion. "Exactly, so stop worrying about what's behind us and let's go to this dance."  
As they progressed through the fog they made it past trees with gold leaves and then trees with diamond leaves. "Was this decorated by Kay Jewelers?" Buffy asked herself. She quickly stopped when she noticed a lake.  
There were twelve small boats resting in a tier. On each boat was a handsome prince, waiting to take a single princess with them. Buffy went out on a limb and picked the first boat to board. He accepted her with a smile on his face and helped her in the boat. One after the other the princesses boarded a boat. When Amy got on hers Spike slipped on as well. The prince kept himself stabilized and safely seated Amy. He picked up his stick and pushed them off. It had been hard to maneuver his boat the past two nights and he didn't see any sign of extra weight on his princess.  
At the other end of the lake was an extravagant, lighted castle, which expelled the noise of a string quartet. The boats docked and the princes helped the princess out of their boats. Once their feet touched the paved ground they were danced away. They continued dancing for the next couple hours. Buffy managed to slip away and stood in a corner by a punch bowl.  
Spike meandered towards her. Buffy's Slayer senses went off, she knew he was nearby. "Hey Spike," she casually greeted with the silver cup's rim to her mouth. "Way to be incognito. Stepping on a dress, not so stealth boarding of a boat, and let's mention the drinking of everyone's beverages before they get a sip."  
"Their faces are priceless," Spike said with a chuckle. Spike looked over at Buffy's smile. He could tell that it was only for show. Deep down she was feeling… something not so smiley. "What is it Slayer?"

Buffy just watched everyone dancing around in circles. Everyone was so jovial and excited. They had no idea that Buffy wasn't who they thought she was. To them she was Hazel; the oldest, prettiest and smartest. To them she was everything they wanted to be and they loved her. They didn't know that she went out every night and slayed vampires and demons. They didn't know her best friend was a powerful, lesbian wicca or a humorous, carpenter who tried to help her as much as he could or a stuffy old librarian who was the closest she had to a father figure in six years.

"Buffy? What's wrong pet?"

The more she thought, the more her brow furrowed. She came back to the present, or past, or whatever the heck it was in time. She watched closely for any signs of changing. Will the princes become vampires? Will werewolves pop out of the bushes?

"Buffy?"

"What?" she hastily whispered back.

"What're ya thinkin' pet?"

"I'm trying to figure how this story is going to go all wonky. Maybe a troll is going to jump out from under that bridge. A big troll with huge arms and greasy hair and grunts like a cartoon caveman. Or maybe a huge swamp monster's gonna pop out of the lake and eat us up with one gulp. I don't know."

"Guess it's just another day at the office, huh pet?"

Buffy looked over at the empty space where she thought Spike was. "Can you hold a glass or something so I can kinda see you?"

"How're ya gonna explain that? Plus you're pretty much lookin' at me now."

"Maybe we should just go and get out of here before something happens," Buffy suggested. She did another browse of the perimeter, still seeing no signs of lurking creatures.

"And you'll do that how?"

"I can pretend to faint. They think I'm sick so if I faint then they'll be all 'Oh, no Hazel. We must get her home at once.'"

"Or they might say 'Oh Hazel. I never liked her anyway. Just kick her in the bushes so she doesn't take up the dance floor,'" Spike said in a pathetic girl voice.

"Your highness," her prince said with a bow. He rose and asked, "would you like to continue dancing?"

"Actually," she intervened, "I would like to return home. See I'm not feeling well and if we do any more spinning you may end up with my dinner all over your neatly pressed clothes."

"So you wish to go home?"

"Yes please."

"You want to leave?" Cordelia asked, shocked at what she overheard.

"Yes. Remember how I wasn't feeling good? Well now it's going in overdrive and I would like to go home."

The music and dancing stopped. Everyone looked at her like she was an outcast. "Why must we leave?" Amy asked.

"You guys were talking about how you wouldn't come if I didn't want to. Well now I want to go back."

"Why?" the Anya look alike asked.

"Because… I'm older then you and you have to do what I say."

"No we don't."

"Since when, that's always been the rules."

"Mention that you can knock her unconscious with one punch," Spike whispered to her.

"Don't help me," she angrily, whispered back.

The discussion was disrupted by a loud bubbling noise. Everyone looked around in confusion and rested their eyes on the lake. Huge bubbles were forming and becoming bigger as if something was surfacing. Suddenly, a scaly, bright green head busted out of the water and turned to face them. The strange creature had brownish yellow eyes.

"What is that?" Spike asked Buffy.

"Option B."

**Author's note:** Hey everyone, sorry it took so long for me to get another chapter up but I just got back from LA and I had no time to write any. So, I hope you like it, I tried to make it extra funny. It may not be extra funny but I hope it's at least funny. Thank you everyone for your patience. You guys rock! By the way, the 'option B' thing refers to the fact that Buffy suggested the swamp monster after the troll. Troll is option A, swamp monster's option B. Get it?


	8. Why Won't She Die!

**Disclaimer: **The lyrics I used are from a song called "For Bobby" by John Denver and I do not own the song in any way, shape or form. And, if it wasn't mentioned before, I do not own any of the _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ characters. Chapter Eight 

The princesses and princes ran away from the unknown creature. "I'm guessin' this isn't s'posed to happen," Spike announced. He pushed the blanket off his shoulders and revealed himself.

"The soldier?" Amy noticed. "I knew something was going on." Amy quickly remembered the creature and continued running.

"What kind of princes are you?" Buffy yelled to the evacuating bodies.

"Princess Hazel," her prince said when he approached. "We must run now."

"I am not running away. And you shouldn't either. You're a prince for crying out loud. You're supposed to fight the dragons and save damsels in distress not run away at the sign of a little trouble."

"I think you must notice that that thing is not little."

"Well, no not technically."

"Not literally either," the prince said.

"You want to run away Boy Blue then go ahead, but I am staying."

The prince inhaled deeply as if to prepare himself for facing his fear, but it turned out he wanted to get extra air in his lungs for his mile run. He didn't even look back.

"You coward!" Buffy yelled. "Can you believe that? I'm surprised he can run without a backbone."

"Buffy there's bigger problems than you getting' dumped," Spike reminded her. He was slowly inching back and keeping his eyes on the giant beast.

"I was _not_ dumped. If anyone was dumped it was him."

The dragon let out a loud growl that sounded like Godzilla. It looked at them and cocked its head. "Can it see us?"

"I don't know, I left my Giles at home," Buffy whispered back.

Spike looked around, trying to find possible weapons. "I got an idea."

"And me without my camera," Buffy quipped.

"Just come on." Spike grabbed Buffy's hand and ran to his left. She followed in hopes of getting out of the dragon's range. The dragon was less than happy and unleashed another scream.

Spike ran towards a wooden door and tried to push it open but it wouldn't budge. "Bloody hell!"

Buffy moved him aside and kicked it in. She gave him a smile and ran inside.

Spike followed her in and said, "I was just goin' to do that." He continued up a flight of stairs and made it to a tower.

"How did you know there were stairs there?"

"I didn't. But there had to be stairs somewhere around here."

"And how did you know there was a door here?" Buffy interrogated.

"I wasn't gonna watch you dance with some git the whole night. I looked around."

"Okay, I get it. Now what's the plan? I think me knowing the plan would be a good plan."

"Just run around here and don't get eatin'."

"That's the plan!" Buffy exclaimed.

"That's your part of the plan."

"Well what's your part of the plan?"

"None of your business now start runnin' around."

"You know I'm only taking orders from you because right now I lack ideas," Buffy said matter of factly.

"Yes I get it, you're strong and powerful and can kick my ass," Spike recited drearily. Buffy ran to the other side and waved her arms around to get the dragon's attention. It rose from the lake, exposing its enormous, yellow belly and wings the size of two cities.

"Oh my God," Buffy said with astonishment. "Hey Spike!" she yelled. "I hope you don't need a lot of time with your plan!"

Spike sized up the area he had and sized up the extremely huge problem they had to get rid of. "This isn't gonna work," he said to himself. He ran back downstairs and through the castle.

Buffy ducked into the nearby tower but the dragon swiped at it with its hand and sent the top crumbling down upon her. She was covered in scrapes from the sharp stones cutting into her skin. Her dress had some bloodstains on it and huge chunks of fabric were missing. Buffy crawled out of the rubble and started running again only to have more stones knocked on her. When the second tower fell she had trouble moving. She managed to scramble loose but was now limping. She had no chance of crawling out of the next blow.

"Hey!" Spike screamed to the dragon from the ground. It paid little attention to him. It raised its hand to grab Buffy but Spike ran towards it and shoved a sword in its foot. It looked down at him, feeling a little prick and growled. It swiped at him, catching him in the first clutch and dropped him into his mouth.

"Spike!" Buffy screamed, as if it would help him.

The dragon licked its lips and then returned its attention to Buffy. She got up and limped to the next tower and threw herself down the stairs. She could feel every step ramming into her shoulder and ribs but this was her only chance of escape. Buffy landed on the floor but her body was going through moving withdrawals. She looked up at an oncoming rockslide and gathered enough strength to drag herself out of the way. A few small pieces landed on her but Buffy remained safe from the big stones.

The dragon discharged a screech but quickly halted. Its eyes became curious and it looked down at it's body. It started scratching its throat after feeling a tickle. Spike rammed the sword through it's skin and pulled as hard as he could to cut into it more. The dragon started losing breath and its body was becoming limp. Spike pushed harder and harder and made it about half way around the neck before the dragon collapsed. He crawled out, covered in saliva and blood. "Buffy!" he yelled. He rose and stumbled to the castle. He made it to the wooden door they entered and he yelled, "Buffy!" Spike stopped and listened. He could barely make out some shallow breathing and a heartbeat. He staggered down the hallway and saw Buffy passed out on the floor. "Buffy!" He ran to her and sat beside her. Spike rested Buffy's head on his legs and gently brushed her face. "Buffy?"

Buffy's eyes slowly opened. "Spike," she tried to exclaim but it came out as a whisper. "You're okay… and you smell."

"Well I'm covered in dragon liquids."

"Is it dead?" she asked with concern.

"I think so. It's body's lyin' out there, not movin'."

"How'd you do it?"

"I cut its throat. When it swallowed me I jammed my sword into some muscle and made my way to the bone where I stood as I cut through it's extremely thick skin," Spike recapped. He ripped off a piece of her dress and licked it before rubbing it onto a deep cut that slanted on the right side of her forehead. She flinched a little but Spike made sure he was gentle.

Iniquity screamed at the top of her lungs. It sent a bright energy out of her body and it threw Pernicus back about ten gravestones. "Uh, ow," he said to her.

"What is going on! She was on the brink of death! How can a dragon that immense not be able to kill something the size of its claw!" she yelled.

Pernicus staggered back over to her. "I asked that question earlier. Kinda."

"She has broken bones and severe wounds but she keeps going. Why won't she die!" Iniquity's breath was fast and shallow. She composed herself and took inhaled deeply. "That's it. No more Mr. Nice Guy." Iniquity aggressively sent magic through the crystal ball and observed her spell unfolding.

"You're not a guy," Pernicus informed.

Buffy's eyes clenched shut at the shock of a bright light flashing in them. She rose her hand over her eyes and opened them. Of course she was in a new place and of course Spike wasn't there. She was in a stone tower. She quickly looked at her hair and let out a sigh of relief when it looked the same. "Definitely was not looking forward to dragging all that hair around." She opened the wooden door in front of her and decided to walk up the stone steps.

Buffy made her way to another door, which she carefully opened and peered into. An old woman, dressed in raggedy clothes and a bonnet, was spinning some thread. Her thick glasses were perched on her nose and she was guiding the glistening string along. "Well hello deary," the old woman said.

"Hello… grandma?" she asked.

"Grandma?" the woman said. She chuckled from the flattery. "I'm not your grandmother dear."

"Oh, sorry."

"That's all right." She continued feeding the thread to the object. She looked over at Buffy who seemed a little confused. "Would you like to help me deary? I could use some new hands."

"I don't know how," Buffy said.

"It's not that hard and I could really use some help."

"Uh…" The old woman was freaking Buffy out so she acted on the first thing she thought of. "What!… I'll be right there." She yelled to the door. "I'm sorry but I have to go. Have fun though." Buffy quickly left the room and ran down the stairs to the bottom floor.

Buffy walked down the corridor and observed all the paintings on the wall. There were pictures of her as a little girl. There was one of her playing in the grass, riding a caramel colored pony, and smiling in a white dress. The last picture she saw was of her, Giles and her mother. A family portrait, she assumed. They all looked so proper. Giles had his right arm on her mother's left shoulder and his left arm was folded behind his back. Joyce was holding Buffy on her lap with her hands folded around Buffy's waist. Buffy looked like she was ten and had her hands folded on her lap.

"Briar Rose," a woman said.

Buffy turned around and saw her mother. Her hair was down and a gold crown rested on her head. She was wearing a dark green dress that clung to her arms and body and panned out below her waist. "Mom?"

"Darling are you feeling all right?" she asked.

Buffy gave her a big hug. She'd seen everyone in this nightmare of a world but this was the one person she wanted to see the most. She smelled her hair and felt her warm body. She still had the mother's touch.

"Rose," her mother said, kissing her forehead. Buffy let go and looked her in the face. "You should get some rest before the big ball. Would you like me to sing you to sleep like when you were a child?" she asked. "I'm sorry darling. I keep treating you like a little girl when really you're all grown up."

"No, I'd like you to sing to me," Buffy said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Joyce smiled and put her arm around Buffy. She walked Buffy to her room and waited for her to lie down. "Would you like to get under the sheets?"

"No, I'm fine," Buffy insisted.

"All right." Joyce brushed a piece of hair out of Buffy's face and she started singing in a light, harmonic voice.

_I'll walk in the rain by your side_

_I'll cling to the warmth of your hand_

_I'll do anything to keep you satisfied_

_And I'll love you more than anybody can_

_I'll be there when you're feeling down_

_To kiss away the tears if you cry_

_I'll share with you all the happiness I've found_

_A reflection of love_-

Buffy dozed off quickly as her mother ran her hand delicately over Buffy's back. Joyce kissed Buffy on the head and left the room. She walked down the steps and saw everyone asleep. The cooks were passed out on the floors with their spatulas and spoons in hand. The dancers were asleep and their ribbons lay lifeless on the floor next to them. The king and queen were asleep on their thrones. Joyce walked towards the exact replica of herself that was resting her head on the king's shoulder. She reached her hand out and changed into her real self; Iniquity.

Iniquity smiled at the sight before her. Everyone was sleeping. Their silly little actions and parlor tricks had stopped and they now slept, with death close by. She walked out the front gate and struck the stone ground with bright light that came from her hands. Vast thorn bushes broke through the hard ground and twisted and wound around every which way. There was no way to make it through without a few scrapes, if you didn't die trying.

Iniquity took one last look at the window that looked in on Buffy's room. She grinned and zapped herself out of there.

"Maybe she got eaten."

"Anya," Xander scorned.

"What? I'm just being practical. You have been looking for her for a day and all Willow's locator spells are coming up empty."

"She wasn't eaten."

"No I guess she could've died a number of ways."

"She's not dead," Xander insisted. He refused to believe that was a possibility. He kept hold of Anya's hand as they walked through the wooded area by one of the graveyards.

"Maybe they ran away together."

"What?"

"Maybe Buffy and Spike ran away together. Vegas. I hear that's a popular place for young lovers to go."

"Buffy would not marry Spike."

"Why not? They got engaged two years ago because of Willow's spell."

_She's right. Maybe Willow-_ "No, Willow would've told us if something happened and if she cast a spell."

"Maybe she doesn't know. She didn't know her 'I-Will-It-So' spell would cause all of what happened to happen. She cast that spell to make her wolf boyfriend come back."

"Anya, please," Xander demanded, letting go of her hand. "Let's not talk about what could've happened. Let's just find her."

"But where? I'm sorry Xander but you said so yourself that you have looked everywhere. You should just contact some higher power to find out where she is."

"Good idea," he sarcastically said with a smile. "I'll pull my magic wand out of thin air and then zap up my mystical address book and then I'll contact the guy who works the portals between different dimensions. Chuck is his name right?"

"Are you mocking me?" Anya asked.

"I laid it on kinda thick there Anya."

"The only thing thick here is your head!"

"I'm trying to find my best friend, if you don't want to be here then go!"

"Fine! I'll open up the Magic Box and make lots of money and I won't share any of it with you!"

"Fine! But when I find the Slayer I'm going to keep all her slaying powers to myself! You can fight off your own vampires and demons!"

"Fine! Then you can just come to the Magic Box and find my dead body lying somewhere and know it's your fault!" Anya and Xander looked at each other with anger and then grabbed one another and started kissing.

Willow and Tara were checking the main part of town. Each was carrying a book in hopes of finding another locator spell. "I can't find anything new in here," Willow said.

"I still don't see Buffy. Do you think we should put out lost posters or something?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea. If the vampires saw that the Slayer was missing from the town that was located above a Hellmouth-I don't even want to know what bad would happen."

"You're right. Sorry."

"No, that's okay," Willow comforted. She placed her hand on Tara's arm. "You had a suggestion. Suggestions are good."

"Unless they're bad ones."

"Well, you need bad ones in order to get to the good ones," Willow said with a smile. Tara smiled back. Willow always made things seem positive which was one of the things Tara loved about her. They gave each other a quick kiss and proceeded their search through town.

Giles was on the phone at Buffy's house. He was talking to Angel in hopes of hearing him say that Buffy showed up there randomly last night. No such luck. "No, I'm sure she would've found you by now…. No, you should stay in Los Angeles and keep things at bay there… Yes, I'll call you if we find her…Goodbye."

Iniquity suddenly appeared before Pernicus, back in the graveyard. He was playing with her crystal ball, rolling it around and tossing it in the air. "You idiot!" She screamed, making the ball fly into her hands.

"Oh, hi," he said.

"Do not play with this. If it breaks they are set free!"

"Sorry," Pernicus said with an attitude. "So what'd you do?"

"I put Buffy to sleep."

"Ah, _Sleeping Beauty_. What's the catch?"

"Every minute her life is being drained. Within an hour, she will die."

**Author's Note:** Woo hoo! Here you are, _Sleeping Beauty_. I know everyone's been waiting for it, it's the original idea I had for this story but then I had them visit a bunch of other ones first and left the romantic life or death one for last. Yes, last. I'm sorry but as you know all good things must come to an end. Let's not think about that right now and focus on the now. The now would be submitting a review about the story and making me say "Yea! A review!" and then I'll read it and smile because you all are so nice and so supportive. Without readers this wouldn't be much of a story, so thank you.


	9. Here's Hopin'

Chapter Nine 

Spike's eyes slowly opened. They were greeted with the brilliant light of the shining sun. Spike quickly jumped up as if he was on fire. He looked around. Nope, he wasn't home yet. He looked around and saw a forest area. There was a white horse sleeping to his side.

A man dressed in rags was walking down a nearby dirt path and gave Spike a good look. He wandered off the path and walked towards him. "Your highness," he said. "What are you doing out in the forest?"

_Your highness?_ Spike stood up and brushed off his velvet clothes. "I was just resting. Uh… where ya comin' from?"

"I was on my way back home from the nearby pond. We needed more water."

"Of coarse. Because you're human and drink water. Not blood." The poor man gave him a look of confusion. "I'm sorry I had a bad dream."

The man suddenly became excited and asked Spike, "Are you here to wake the princes?"

"Excuse me?"

"Our princess Briar Rose and everyone in the palace. They're all asleep and no one knows why."

_Sleeping Beauty. At least I know this story._ "You said town was this way?" Spike asked, pointing right.

"Yes sir."

"Thanks." Spike looked at the horse, waiting for it to stand up. "Get up." The horse just sat there. "Arise." The horse kept chomping on the grass. Spike put his hands under the horse and tried lifting it. It wouldn't move. "If you don't get up I will bite you and drink you dry." The horse pulled its head away. "Get up!" he yelled. The horse jumped up on its feet. Spike grabbed the saddle and put his foot in one of the stirrups. He tried swinging his foot over but he just fell stomach down on the saddle. The horse started running toward the town. "Whoah, stop horse." Spike put his hand around the horse's neck and managed to swing his foot to the other side.

Town was dark and dreary. Everyone remained hidden in their homes. Their eyes peered down at him from over the bottom of their windows. There was a clear path to the castle, that is until the huge cluster of vines.

Spike got off his horse and pulled out a sword. He started chopping through the vines. His adrenaline was going into overdrive in hopes of making it to Buffy. He still didn't know what the twist was and he wanted to get to her as soon as possible. He made it through the vines within ten minutes.

"He's going to make it to her!" Pernicus yelled. He looked to his left and noticed Iniquity was gone. "Iniquity?"

….

"Iniquity?"

Spike stopped suddenly when a beautiful woman appeared. Her brown, curly hair rested against her back and her black dress clung to her body. "Who're you?" Spike asked her.

"I'm the road block."

"S'cuse me?"

"You are not getting in this castle unless I am dead."

"Then I guess you should tell your friends to start pickin' out a gravestone," Spike said as he approached her, his sword held tightly in his hand.

Iniquity let out a small chuckle. "You have no idea who you are dealing with."

"Well then let's start the introduction. I'm Spike, I'll be killin' you in a few minutes, and you're?"

"I'm Iniquity and I will be killing _you_ in a few _seconds_."

"I have a little bit of a problem with that in the way that, I won't let ya."

"That is little. Because I really don't care. See, I am a powerful sorceress. You are not a vampire in this world so therefore I can kill you as any human being, which I intend to do. And you only have about eighteen minutes to try and save her anyway."

Spike's face changed into one of concern. "What do you mean?"

"The more we continue this banter the more your precious Slayer's life is being drained."

"That's not how the story goes," Spike argued.

"And the other fairytales were just to script," she sarcastically commented. "There is no horde of vampires in _Cinderella_. There is no werewolf in _Little Red Riding Hood_. There is no attack on the castle in _Frog Prince_. And there is no sea monster in _Twelve Dancing Princesses_."

"You did all this? Got nothin' better to do than play a game of _Mouse Trap_ with the Slayer and me?"

"I was just up for the challenge. Well, challenge according to mystical sources. Not much of a challenge for-" Spike attacked her with his sword and she disappeared and reappeared in the same spot. Spike turned around in shock. "That was extremely uncivil. I was in the middle of a sentence."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I don't care."

"You don't care?" Iniquity threw her arm in the air and Spike's body rammed into the castle.

There was an imprint of where Spike's body hit. He could feel all the scrapes on his body and the fractured bones in his arms and back. Spike tediously stood up and acted like he was going to say something. Instead he turned and hobbled into the castle.

Spike made his way inside but he didn't know where to go. Iniquity appeared and blocked the door that led to Buffy's tower. "Behind door number one," he said to himself.

"You have some of the worst manners that I have ever laid eyes upon."

"You greeted me with an 'I'm gonna kill you'."

"But I said it politely."

"Ya know, if ya gonna kill me, kill me, I don't want to listen to your prattle any more."

Iniquity flicked her wrist and Spike rose quickly rose to the ceiling. Some of his fractured bones became broken ones and blood came out of his mouth. The taste was bitter and warm. Iniquity watched the blood hit the floor. "You humans bleed to easily."

"What part about bein' thrown into stone walls easy?"

Iniquity pointed down and Spike dropped like an anvil. Iniquity walked over to him with a grin on her face. She looked at his body. It wasn't moving. She knealt down to turn him over and Spike ran his sword in her chest. She inhaled deeply and was taken aback. Spike gathered enough energy to stand up and he stumbled to the tower and up the stairs. It took him five minutes to make it to the first floor. He looked in and saw Buffy asleep on the bed. He staggered into the bedroom and went over to Buffy. Her skin was like ice, his hand immediately pulled away at the touch. He looked at her and gave her a kiss.

Buffy's eyes slowly opened. "Spike?" she said.

"Yea."

"What happened to your face?"

Iniquity appeared and Buffy and Spike turned their attention to her. "You should have just let her die you stupid ape. You would've been able to get out of this alive."

"There's no point unless she'll be there when I get back."

Buffy looked at him. It was cheesy but at the moment it was the sweetest thing she ever heard.

"Then you're both going to-"

Their surrounding abruptly changed. They were in the graveyard that Iniquity had become accustomed to. Iniquity looked up at Pernicus who's face was in complete shock. His mouth was open and his eyes were wide and a little teary. He looked down at the broken shards. "I didn't mean to. It slipped."

Iniquity bit her lip. "Why are you still alive!" she yelled to Pernicus.

"Because I'm your brother?" Pernicus suggested.

"That excuse has worn out!"

Pernicus screamed and a huge whirlwind came through. It beat against the trees and actually made the gravestones shake. A brunette appeared. Her hair was curly like Iniquity's but it was long enough to touch the ground. She was wearing a white dress with bell sleeves.

"Uh-oh," Pernicus said.

The woman gave him a glance of acknowledgment and then looked at Iniquity. "Iniquity."

"Mother."

"I thought I told you not to bring your little brother on your death and destruction trips."

"Mom, I'm not a little-"

"Don't say anything Pernicus. I am enraged at you as well." The woman looked at Iniquity and said, "We are going home."

"Mom, I haven't even killed them yet."

The woman looked at Buffy and Spike. They were both confused at how they're angry attacker suddenly acted like a five year old child defending herself. "What did they do?"

"She's a Slayer."

"A Slayer? Did you get permission?"

"Permission? Mom, I'm evil I don't get permission."

"You still need permission from me and your father. Now let's go." The woman motioned to Pernicus and he jumped off the tomb. He ran over to her and gave her a hug. Iniquity turned to Buffy and Spike as if to attack but her mother intervened and said, "If you flick that wrist so help you Merlin the repercussions that will be in store for you."

Iniquity inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I'll be back for you Slayer."

"Not in a long while Iniquity. I can't believe you brought your brother with you. How irresponsible. Just wait until we get home, your father-" they disappeared before she was able to finish her sentence.

"That's not somethin' ya see everyday."

"Definitely not." They noticed that they were holding each other and quickly let go and backed away. "I should," Buffy started.

"Yea, and I have to-"

"Right." There was a moment of silence between them. They just looked at each other with longing. "I'm gonna-"

"Me too." Spike went left and Buffy went right. Spike started scorning himself for not saying anything. _You've been through a lot ya git, ya should at least ask her for a drink. No, she'd never go for it. We're back in Sunnydale. She's the Slayer that intends to kill me whenever I give her a reason too and I'm the Slayer sick love bitch to her._ He wandered through town for awhile and slowly made his way back to his tomb. He begrudgingly opened the door and kept his head down as he went inside and shut it.

"You forget the way?" someone said.

Spike's head darted up and he saw her. Buffy. She was standing in his tomb. "I was a little tired."

"Understandable." She remained in her spot next to his chair and her hands resting at her side. "Look, remember all that stuff I said when the castle was being attacked and you just became a prince."

"The stuff about developin' feelin's for me?"

"Yea." She waited a minute, trying to find the words. "You weren't supposed to know that because now I feel like you expect a relationship to bud after everything that's happened. But it can't."

"You came to my tomb and waited for me just to tell me we can't be together? I'm not bitin' Slayer. You felt something." He took a few steps toward her and she stepped back. Spike stopped and remained still. "You really do feel somethin' for me and you're just too afraid to admit it."

"I did admit it."

"Well you're too afraid to act on it."

"Well can you blame me? "Cause me and relationships have gone so well so far."

"Stop comparin' me to other relationships. Your appocalyptic situation with Angel didn't stop you from datin' Riley or from datin' Angel again," Spike pointed out. "I fought throughout this whole experience and even if you turn me down now I will keep fightin' for you. If you're about to be bitten, I'll attack the vamp. If you're stuck in another demension, I'll fight my way to you. If you're bein' your usual self and bitin' my head off about somethin' stupid and then two seconds later we're under attack, I'm going to fight alongside you, because there is nothing I wouldn't do for you Buffy. I love you and you can't stop that by telling me not to."

Buffy slowly walked towards him. She made a fist and punched him across the face. "You idiot." She placed her hands on his face and pulled him in for a kiss. Spike kissed her back and wrapped his arms around the cusp of her back. They parted for a moment. "No good can come from this."

"Here's hopin'." Spike said with a smile. Buffy smiled back and kissed him.

**Author's Note:** Yea! Buffy and Spike are together! I hope you liked my story because it sadly has come to an end. I want to thank all of you for your reviews. It means a lot to me so thanks for the support. And I'm sorry if there's any spelling mistakes because I just wanted to get this up as soon as possible and I got a party to go to in ten minutes. Happy Fourth of July!


End file.
